The Kids' Shows Parents Loathe

The Biggest Assholes of Kids' TV, from Blippi to Caillou

When I had my first kid, I told myself I would be really chill about screen time, to make up for how uptight I was about safety and health. I grew up watching a hefty dose of Sesame Street and Rugrats, and I turned out just fine! (Okay, maybe I didn’t, but I don’t think Bert and Ernie had anything to do with it.)

But I quickly learned that the world of kids’ television today is a whole new beast, because instead of just a few channels (which may or may not even be playing the show your kid wants to watch at that time) my firstborn had access to all TV shows, all the time, via streaming services and phones. Add in the fact that he was born during peak covid when we weren’t really going anywhere, and you’ve got a recipe for a screen time disaster.

I take solace in the fact that we didn’t own an iPad, so we never wound up with an “iPad kid.” But for a while, we almost certainly had a bit of a “Netflix kid” which quickly became something much worse—a “YouTube kid.” Once we realized he was watching some of the most inane and mind-numbing, albeit age-appropriate, content imaginable, we made him a deal that sounds too stupid to ever work—no more screen time except for a little bit of Curious George after preschool, and you get a Montessori sensory table with “fun pompom activities.” Somehow, this actually worked and now we are a happily “low screen time family.” And the bit of Curious George that we watch is actually quite pleasant for everyone in the room—I strongly recommend!

But my brief foray into the most annoying kids’ videos ever made me want to ask parents (aka my Twitter followers): which TV show for kids do you absolutely detest, and why?

Anyway, these were the top Public Enemies of kids’ TV:

Caillou

To put it simply, according to one mom: “Caillou can take his bald head elsewhere.” Several parents told me Caillou is completely “banned” in their house. One parent informed me that Caillou’s whiny disposition was contagious and made their kids whiny. One parent declared, “Caillou is kind of an ass.” Apparently Caillou’s sister is also a troublemaker, who sets a bad example for kids. A dad says, “Caillou is the most banned show I know of. It teaches your kid how to be whiny. There's all kinds of fan fiction doing terrible things to Calliou. He's hated that much.” Multiple parents corroborated that their children misbehave more often after watching this Canadian asshole. As one dad put it, “Aside from the fact that he’s annoying and beady eyed, the whole atmosphere of Caillou is oppressive nanny state.”

Blippi

My older child has never gotten into Blippi because “he’s a real person and not a cartoon.” This is probably for the better, after seeing what other parents have to say about this sicko. In the words of one mom, “I despise Blippi.” One dad said, “Blippi is horrible. Such a weird combination of trying too hard and not trying hard enough. Haphazardly saying the colors of everything you see isn't educational content.” Another parent says, “Blippi is 100% verboten.” A mom says “Blippi is banned for being creepy.” Several parents indicated they banned Blippi for his “history with shock videos” and I had to do my own research to discover that prior to his success in kids’ TV, Blippi had a career making gross-out videos, the most famous of which involved him explosively pooping on his friend’s head while wearing the signature Blippi orange glasses.

Cocomelon

I wasn’t surprised to see Cocomelon mentioned so often. It wasn’t long ago that a pseudo-scientific post went viral on Instagram claiming that the “mix of noises” in Cocomelon intentionally overstimulated toddlers in a way similar to crack or meth. I can confirm Cocomelon is incredibly annoying, not just because it’s boring, insipid “slop,” as one mom put it, but also because it doesn’t even seem like…a real show? It’s nearly indistinguishable from a bunch of seemingly AI-generated, uncanny valley YouTube videos (which I should add, are also banned in our house after our child discovered them by accident.) As one parent put it, “One strain of children's media is made to be appealing to kids and parents alike. It features characters, plots, and narratives. The other strain is only meant to appeal to kids in a hypnotic way. Its epitome is Cocomelon and Pinkfong. Banned.” One mom says, “The only one I truly hate is Cocomelon. The music is bad, the characters have dead eyes, it looks like it was generated by AI.” To sum it all up, one dad says, “Cocomelon is satanic.”

Mickey Mouse Clubhouse

I really dislike Mickey Mouse Clubhouse for the main reason that the graphic completely suck, and it seems so wrapped up in the various “interactive” activity of solving Mickey’s various pea-brained dilemmas that it doesn’t really leave much space for any heart or soul. My older child watched this a few times, and despite the whole thing attempting to be educational, it seemed to wash over him like white noise. One mom says, “The music in Mickey Mouse Clubhouse us so horrific it's like they wrote regular songs and put them through a focus group to make them as annoying as possible.” Another mom says that Mickey Mouse Clubhouse turned her kids into “zombies.”

Paw Patrol

Paw Patrol is another show that seems to irritate parents. It doesn’t invoke the same kind of deep-seated hatred as Caillou, Blippi or Cocomelon, but it’s on the Banned List for many households. One dad says. “Paw Patrol and Cocolemon are absolutely forbidden in the house and outside the house. We do not even let my son look at Paw Patrol toys at the Target near us.” A mom agrees: “Cocomelon, Blippi, and Paw Patrol ‘mysteriously don’t work’ at our house.” Paw Patrol did not earn the same ire as the earlier mentioned shows though. As one parent put it, “I used to be anti-Paw Patrol but it’s gotten better and my kids are both eager to play with their Paw Patrol toys after an episode or two so whatevs.”

Peppa Pig

I have to be honest, I kind of like Peppa Pig. Maybe it’s the British accents or the fact that I’m a sucker for mischievous characters over the insipid ones, but a lot of parents disagree. One mom says, “Peppa Pig is the literal only thing I've ever banned in our house, I can't stand it.” Most of the complaints about Peppa seem to be about her behavior. “She is just an obnoxious, spoiled, horrible little brat,” says another mom. Several parents indicated that Peppa is verboten due to the way she disrespects her parents, specifically her father, who is frequently presented as the butt of the joke.

Parent-Approved Kids’ TV

I also asked parents which kids’ TV shows they actually enjoyed watching. Unsurprisingly, Bluey topped the list. There are adults who don’t even have kids who are into Bluey, and the fandom has been (accordingly to some, slanderously) likened to the Bronies—adult, often male and childless, fans of My Little Pony. Anyway, I’m not surprised. Recently a woman went viral for confessing on a podcast that she masturbated to Bluey’s dad. Maybe most moms wouldn’t go that far, but many corroborate that Bluey’s dad sets a great (G-rated) example.

Daniel Tiger, Mr. Rogers, and Curious George, all PBS shows, earned themselves some parental approval. Shows that were calming and whimsical as opposed to loud and garish also made the cut—like Little Bear and Puffin Rock. Parents also appreciated some nostalgic shows, like Sesame Street, Magic School Bus, the original Thomas the Tank Engine and Winnie the Pooh.

Altogether, it’s clear that the features of a show that parents will hate are:

• Obnoxiously and bright

• Naughty main characters

• Lacking any kind of heart or depth

• Formulaic

• Seemingly AI-generated or otherwise uncanny

• Creepy for any reason

The shows that seem to resonate with parents are:

• Calming

• Narrative and character-driven

• Classic or nostalgic

• Likeable characters

• Educational

• Cute but not insipid

So let me know which shows you hate and love—did I get these right?

If you liked this parenting article, you might like some of my other parenting articles:

• You Don’t Hate Kids, You Hate Moms

• The Grandparents Who Are “Meh” on Grandkids

• Friendship Ended with Body Image Issues, Mom Guilt Is My New Best Friend

• People Without Kids Really, Really, Really Hate Screen Time