Many Such Takes: Far-Right Account Outed as Brown-Eyed, 11 Packs of Gummy Bears, Hillary Clinton's Glow-Up, and More

The most unhinged discourse of the week, always free.

Welcome to Many Such Takes! I stay up to date with the latest and most chaotic Twitter discourse so you don’t have to. If you see yourself featured here and you don’t like it, simply send me a Substack message and I will happily remove, no matter who you are or what you said. Right now I generally abide by censoring usernames if the person’s ideology is something I consider dangerous, or if the person is a small or small-ish account who said something controversial and who has the potential to be overrun with too many negative comments if not kept anonymous. Generally, I do not censor large accounts or accounts who said things that I don’t think will open them up to undue criticism. This week…

Gavin Newsom’s Groyper Stans

Mom, come pick me up, the nazis are fighting again! I have to thank the anonymous Twitter user who came forward to notify me of the discourse happening in Groyperland.

Apparently, despite being a liberal, Gavin Newsom is doing quite a bit in the fight against “white genocide.” I mean, why else would a white man have four kids? And are we even gonna talk about the two Caucasian-coded dogs??

This motherfucking racist knows exactly what he’s doing:

Anyway, the discourse continued with people debating whether Gavin Newsom was a bit more conservative than he’s letting on, especially given that he flouted blue state rules to go to a fancy restaurant during covid. Then someone with a Roman statue avi confidently declared that Gavin Newsom is “not white” (I looked this up- fake news!) which led to a conversation about whether or not he was Jewish. I left my skull calipers at home today, so I was stuck Googling “Is Gavin Newsom Jewish.” He’s not, by the way.

Oh, also, there was fairly creepy discussion about whether his purebred white children could be reeducated or whether the “libtard gene” was inextricably tied to them.

Hillary Clinton’s Glow-Up

In case you missed it, Hillary Clinton was at the TONY awards to extoll the virtues of voting, and she needs to drop her skincare routine because sis has had a major glow-up. Even people who don’t like her (sadly, many such people) can’t deny that she’s serving Paula’s Choice Laniege dewy natural realness. Forget Crooked Hillary, she’s Killary Cunton, and she’s former first SLAYdy.

Some right-wingers saw Hillary’s glowing skin as proof that she has, in fact, been feasting on children. A couple liberals jokingly suggested that perhaps it was not too late for her to primary Biden. Then, in a way that’s completely normal, Adam McKay had this to say:

Doula and Daycare Shaming

Just in case you thought I was going to stay completely stuck on Political Twitter, here’s a fun Mom Twitter gem for you! Two separate mom accounts (which I won’t name here because I don’t want everyone yelling at them, even if I think they were being jerks) had some thoughts on doulas and daycare:

If you’re involved in parenting discourse you probably have a good idea of how both of these discussions went down. The anti-doula mom was quick to point out that she wasn’t judging, so anyone feeling judged had misinterpreted her (many people did, however, still feel judged.) The anti-daycare mom was not as careful to disclaim, and in fact, was accused of being part of a right-wing op by a prominent liberal account (I’m honestly…not in disagreement? Over the past year or so there has been a complete onslaught of anti-nanny, anti-daycare content that goes beyond the normal mom shaming stuff. ANYWAY…gonna remove my tinfoil hat for now, but there’s Something Going On!) Some notable takes:

One thing I can’t help but comment on here is that the best anti-daycare argument I’ve ever seen is the fact that so many former daycare workers post on Twitter with absolutely dripping disdain for parents who keep them employed. Imagine if accountants were like “As an accountant let me tell you I can’t believe these absolute pieces of shit who pay their taxes.”

11 Packs of Gummy Bears

If you liked Bean Dad, you’ll LOVE Gummy Bear Babysitter!

On Monday, Brandon Avedikian, who can best be described as a member of “Business Founder Twitter,” posted a screed about his irresponsible babysitter giving his child 11 packs of gummy bears, written suspiciously like a LinkedIn post:

Anyway, people naturally had thoughts on the “eleven packs of gummy bears.” For example, how big were they? What’s the worst that could happen? Was it worth firing the sitter over? Was it somehow Brandon’s fault for not teaching “self regulation?” This was the perfect storm for low-stakes parenting discourse!

Writer Lucy Huber took it upon herself to investigate the gummy bear package size, and her deep dive revealed that the babysitter did not, in fact, give the child that many gummy bears after confirming the brand of gummy bear was the Costco mini packs:

One take from the other side:

Raw Egg Nationalist is Brown-Eyed

Guys, the colorism in the racist community is a serious problem!

Even if you’re not on the right, you’ve probably seen the account “Raw Egg Nationalist” on your TL, posting about right-coded nutrition (hence, “raw egg”), general right-wing takes, and occasionally, pulling out the handy dandy racist eye chart to narrow down the master race to a “true A10 Aryan:”

Unfortunately, his blue eye supremacy poasting seems to have bitten him in the purportedly lily white tush, because someone threatened to expose his identity, prompting him to get ahead of it. And not only is he an academic, he’s…olive-skinned and brown-eyed:

His followers are a mixed bag of people who think he’s good-looking and thus, his swarthiness can be forgiven, and other people who feel misled into thinking he was a Nordic specimen with alabaster skin and aquamarine eyes:

Some people defended him by showing that there are people of color within the Groyper movement (and in this case, “color” can also include “sort of olive-toned.”)

I don’t believe Raw Egg Nationalist confirmed what his specific ethnicity is, but he was accused of being Mediterranean and/or Jewish. He hinted at his ethnicity with this bit of analysis:

Leftist Comic Drama

If you’re on leftist or liberal Twitter, you’ve probably seen this iconic tweet:

Unfortunately, not everyone liked it—especially people who may have been in the category of “hit dogs hollering.” Basil found themselves on the receiving end of the dreaded Twitter ratio this week when they posted a comic by comic artist Haus of Decline with most of the text crossed out, making the point that the comic would be funnier with less text:

It’s likely that Haus, and many of the people agreeing with her, had been looking for a reason to yell at Basil for a while given the infamous Wal Mart tweet.

Haus was reportedly offended that Basil had used a Stonetoss (nazi artist) comic example to point out that we (the left) should be making more effective comics than what the right is creating. Basil pointed out that they were not praising Stonetoss, and others were quick to point out that Stonetoss comics, while repugnant politically, are effective and are frequently used as templates for liberal or leftist memes (with the original text removed, of course.) After all, it’s not praising Hitler to point out that he was an effective public speaker, it doesn’t mean we agree with Hitler’s politics.

Since this spat, there have been numerous parodies of the “overly wordy leftist comic.”

Sexting Consent

Although this is actually an old tweet—a “classic take” if you will (albeit not in the same echelon as “Tommy Needy Drinky” or “Ruthkanda”)—the “ask consent before sexting” tweet is making its rounds again:

I can say, as the person on the receiving end of one of these (I once posted a completely safe-for-work photo of myself on Reddit and got a DM asking for consent to masturbate over it) I can say this strategy is very weird and you should probably find other ways of determining if someone consents to sexting. Alternatively, you could just send everyone in your phone a survey to see who would be open to it, with options like “Very much agree” or “Slightly agree.”

Menswear Guy is Feuding with Gavin McInnes

If you don’t know who Gavin McInnes or Menswear Guy is, I fear this newsletter might not be for you, but basically: Gavin McInnes is the founder of the Proud Boys and cofounder of Vice. Menswear Guy (also known as Derek Guy- is that his real name?) is a Twitter account with a massive following who posts almost exclusively about men’s fashion, but has over time exposed himself as a liberal or potentially leftist (without knowing for sure, I have a suspicion that he is a Social Democrat.)

Anyway, Gavin McInnes apparently used to follow Menswear Guy, but the conflict arose when McInnes posted an outfit photo inviting “judgment” and Menswear Guy rose to the occasion:

His feedback got pretty detailed, although he made it clear throughout the thread that he was only criticizing the outfit, and not Gavin’s looks or politics:

Apparently Menswear Guy had blocked McInnes previously, but unblocked him after the thread did well. He then used a photo of McInnes to illustrate a point about ugly fabrics:

Gavin wasn’t happy with this, indicating that perhaps he didn’t really want judgment on his outfit despite his initial tweet asking for it:

Menswear Guy was undeterred, instead leveraging other photos of McInnes to illustrate “tight fits, short jackets, low-rise trousers, and skimpy lapels that sit downstream of early 2000 trends.” McInnes did not see this as helpful fashion advice.

Although the exchange was funny and informative, Menswear Guy again blocked McInnes for the following reason:

Menswear Guy has long been accused of having political bias when he criticizes outfits, but one could also argue that men on the right genuinely dress badly. For all our political disagreements, I actually don’t hate Gavin McInnes’ clothes, but Menswear Guy appeals to a specific set of rules regarding men’s clothing, of which I’m fairly ignorant. If he says the suit is ugly, it probably is, and I’m too centered on women’s fashion to see it.

Best Tweets of the Week

• This was actually from a year ago, but I saw it recently and thought it was so funny and cute that I needed to resurface it:

• The drama of Sundressgate lives on:

• This critique of a tweet saying that dating is a “weird ritual:”

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