Many Such Takes: Happy Gayday, Boner Juicing, War GC

The most unhinged discourse of the week, always free

Heads up that I am in Paris right now (ooh la la) so with limited time I tried to keep up with the takes but truly just wasn’t on Twitter as much. Bear with me! Here are some day/night vacation outfit photos to make up for it:

(I sewed the last one!)

Welcome to Many Such Takes! For those unfamiliar, this is a free weekly segment (I also do lots of other stuff!) For Many Such Takes, I stay up to date with the latest and most chaotic Twitter (and now BlueSky) discourse so you don’t have to. If you see yourself featured here and you don’t like it, simply send me a Substack message and I will happily remove, no matter who you are or what you said.

For previous issues of Many Such Takes, see this tab on my main page.

CHH Updates

Some important CHH updates!

• New survey available here, for all parents who have (at any point) had parental decision-making power.

• My men’s fashion survey (which I’m collaborating on with

  Lyman Stone
  ) is in progress! The images have been chosen and we are just finishing the formatting. You will see that one go up soon. If you weren’t chosen, don’t take offense- it was all based on how the outfits looked in a group, not a beauty contest or popularity contest.

• I made my satire article from earlier this week free for everyone! Read it here:

Happy Gayday

Fox host Jesse Watters (who recently declared that men shouldn’t consume soup in public, in case they look gay) has declared that wishing your friends happy birthday is also gay.

But, as the ancient Twitter wisdom goes, this you?

I was aware of the soup thing but I must have missed “gay milkshakes.”

My verdict: obviously, go ahead and wish your male friends happy birthday. But I have a strong feeling this is Watters’ new “schtick.” What’s next, drinking iced tea is gay? Actually, hold up:

Yeah, that was me (before my total ban from Reddit.) Watters would be proud.

Boner Juicing

Bryan Johnson, known by many on Twitter as the vaguely vampiric guy who went from “creepy tech bro” to “peculiar, whimsical uncle of Twitter” shared that he takes Cialis, but it’s not for erections.

I like the following tweet. Let people be weird!! Who knows what he might discover?

War GC

I didn’t write anything specific about Mike Waltz and Pete Hegseth accidentally including Atlantic editor in chief Jeffrey Goldberg to their (very not secure) group chat about bombing Yemen. Other people covered it though! It was covered by

Infinite Scroll

here and by

I Might Be Wrong

here. Anyway, TLDR: you know that anxious feeling you get when you text someone to shit-talk someone else and then you worry maybe it’s on the group chat where they’re both included? (No? Just me?) Anyway, that’s kind of what happened with the Trump administration except the person mistakenly included was Jeffrey Goldberg, and they weren’t shit-talking him, they were sharing detailed military information.

Mike Waltz claims Goldberg’s number was “sucked into” his phone. Thank goodness Jesse Watters wasn’t there to hear that—what kind of a man sucks another guy’s phone number?

Some people are mad at Jeffrey Goldberg for staying around in the GC for five days:

Other people are just having fun, linking this drama with the notorious “morning routine” guy who I covered last week:

Every possible take must be realized:

My favorite tweet on the topic:

Funny Tweets/Other Happenings

Harry Sisson living on after his non-sex sex scandal:

Twitter user Kent Williams successfully used ChatGPT to scam his scammers during a Sephora gift card scam. Read the entertaining thread here.

Italian orange chicken:

People continue to clown on the guy with the ridiculous morning routine that I covered last week:

*British teenage troll voice* Oh look, a high-res photo of your mum’s minge:

In case you missed it…