Many Such Takes: 1% Top Vagina, Fish Head Wife, Erika Kirk's Dress, and More

The most unhinged discourse of the week, always free--plus, a giveaway and mini-podcast episode.

Welcome to Many Such Takes! For those unfamiliar, this is a free occasional segment (I also do lots of other stuff—you can typically expect 4-5 paid posts a week too!) For Many Such Takes, I stay up to date with the latest and most chaotic Twitter discourse and drama so you don’t have to.

Also, in case you’re thinking of upgrading to paid, you will get access to CHH CHAT, a chat channel on Substack full of men, women, and people of different political affiliations and sexual orientations who manage to discuss hot topics like sex, dating, parenting, or even politics without killing each other. Join us!!

A Book Giveaway and Bonus Audio!

I’ve been a fan of Kat Rosenfield fan for a while (does this make me a…Kat Person?) Anyway, the weird thing about me is that I mostly know Kat from her podcast, Feminine Chaos, which isn’t really the main thing she does but it’s the thing I most loyally consume. Most people know her from her books—and her sexy thriller, How To Survive In The Woods, was my first time reading one of them! So today I hosted her for a mini-podcast episode (ie: audio embedded within Many Such Takes- scroll down) and a giveaway for anyone interested in a free copy of her book, which I cannot recommend enough.

I’ll gush about the book more in the audio, but the best way I can describe it is like watching a thriller movie—interesting the whole way through, non-pretentious, finding new ways to surprise the reader throughout.

To enter the giveaway and win a free copy of her book, restack any part of the above segment related to How To Survive In The Woods and someone will reach out for your address (in a totally non-creepy, non-murdery, book-oriented way, I promise.) Our conversation here:

1% Top Vagina

By now, many of us on Twitter are used to Bryan Johnson, the longevity-obsessed centimillionaire who harvests his son’s blood (Fun fact: he apparently did that one time, and found it useless.) Lately, he’s gotten into the habit of posting occasional updates about his sex life with his girlfriend, Kate Tolo. These updates have generally been pretty non-detailed and succinct, so when he posted that he just went down on her, I immediately scrolled past, not even considering that this would be featured in Many Such Takes:

But then, he updated his thread with just about as much detail as anyone can ever ask for in the realm of cunnilingus—Kate’s vaginal microbiome report.

While some accused him of violating Kate’s privacy, Kate popped in to defend the TMI from the perspective of needing to take one’s sexual health seriously. Easy for you to say—if my husband ever posts about my bottom 15% vagina I will not be so blithe about it.

One fun fact: Bryan brags about Kate’s vagina being more acidic and the fact that a pH below 4.5 is especially healthy. I had to do a double take because there was a ridiculous trend a couple years ago where women were trying to make their vaginas less acidic. However, when I tried to find evidence of this, I couldn’t, so perhaps I dreamed it. Can someone back me up/help me?

Anyway, in case you need even more details:

The top reply came from none other than dril:

But I don’t think anything tops a guy who, perhaps in an effort to draw the white supremacists into the conversation, made a pussy phrenology chart.

Fish Head Wife

Would you rather marry a guy who posts your vaginal microbes to the Internet, or a guy who writes raceplay erotica about his former coworker that features completely unnecessary racialized insults about your appearance, and then tries to pass it off as a MeToo scandal?

Well, Wednesday Evening, The Daily Mail published details of a lawsuit involving an anonymous man and his female manager, JP Morgan exec Lorna Hajdini, who supposedly forced him to engage in humiliating raceplay BDSM and drugging him with Viagra and threatened to withhold promotions if he didn’t comply.

But almost immediately after, John Doe was unmasked, and it was revealed that the woman accused of leveraging her position of power for sex wasn’t even his manager and had no control over his compensation. Initially some suspected they had a consensual affair and he had rebranded it as harassment to save his marriage.

But speaking of his marriage, one of the things he has accused Lorna Hajdini of saying was gesturing to her breasts and saying, “I bet your little Asian fish head wife doesn’t have these cannons.” Twitter immediately clocked this as erotica, given that women simply don’t talk this way.

As it turns out, at least as far as we know, the entire story was a fabrication and they weren’t even having an affair. He had attempted to secure a million-dollar payout when he was fired to no avail, and decided this was a better solution, but then refused to cooperate with his own lawsuit.

I Want To Feel Something

We were graced with a peak 2021-era tweet this week. You might wonder what I’m talking about, and I’m specifically talking about that vibe in the early 2020s when it was really cool and acceptable to say you “hated work” but not in a lazy way, in an anti-capitalist way.

As I’ve said before, some people genuinely are leftists, but other people who nominally “hate capitalism” just hate having to work but also want to be rich—and rich people who don’t have to work are basically unheard of under actual communism.

Someone else responded with this ancient banger:

My own work on the topic, from way back when:

Pensive Trump

After Trump’s latest assassination attempt, he seems to be adopting a quieter, more reflective persona (at least for now) as he is shown quietly displaying a dead wasp to the First Lady, the King and Queen:

As Spencer Klavan pointed out in a tweet, this is typical for him, in part because people have tried to assassinate him enough times that we can glean certain patterns from it:

Erika Kirk’s Dress

This drama was pretty big when it happened, but a whole five days later, it already feels ancient. Anyway, I have a whole other article which covers my take on this particular drama, where a fashion poster (who deleted the post after backlash, so I will keep her anonymous) dragged Erika Kirk’s “clearance rack” dress at the White House Correspondents’ Dinner.

We also got this gem out of the conversation:

It also looks like Erika Kirk may have heard the criticism loud and clear and is now dressing like an anarchist revolutionary:

Generally, the original tweet about Erika Kirk’s dress (while popular) was widely criticized for engaging in a level of fashion snobbery not becoming of a self-described socialist. I didn’t want to drag this particular poster since people went too far with it, but I did find the general phenomenon interesting because she’s hardly the only one to do it. My coverage here:

Funny Tweets/Other Happenings

Taylor Lorenz was swarmed by Bluesky for going to a Politico pre-party WHCD event, with some accusing her of “attending a Nazi rally.”

Trump is rebranding ICE to NICE, because why not:

In case you missed it…