The Post-Cosmo Era Of Women’s Dating Advice

There is no better place to understand the evolution of women’s dating advice than the former and current state of Cosmo magazine.

I’ve heard a particularly common complaint from many young men in my mentions: any kind of dating advice geared towards men emphasizes personal responsibility and self-improvement, while dating advice aimed at women consists of, “you’re amazing, don’t settle” with a side order of, “if any man doesn’t think you’re amazing, he’s a jerk.”

I have a feeling these guys aren’t really deep into women’s relationship spaces, because this isn’t even a very accurate depiction of what it’s like now, but for argument’s sake, I will concede this particular type of advice exists among the myriad of disparate modern dating advice for women—for example, dismissing any man who isn’t interested in you as avoidant-attached. And if you’re a man, not a woman, you will only see the parts of women’s dating advice that incidentally appears in front of you.

But what we are seeing today (and what is now receiving unsurprising backlash) was simply a different form of backlash to dating narratives millennial and Gen X women received in their teen years. From the 2000s to today, women’s dating advice experienced the same transformation that body positivity did—mainstream sources overcorrected toward a supposedly empowering, milquetoast feminist message, while the less politically correct content thrived in disperse and unregulated social media environments.

There is no better place to understand this transformation than Cosmo magazine.