Many Such Takes: Trumpbama, Expensive Books, Subway Safety, Horny German, Fire Takes
The most unhinged discourse of the week, always free
Welcome to Many Such Takes! For those unfamiliar, this is a free weekly segment (I also do lots of other stuff!) For Many Such Takes, I stay up to date with the latest and most chaotic Twitter (and now BlueSky) discourse so you don’t have to. If you see yourself featured here and you don’t like it, simply send me a Substack message and I will happily remove, no matter who you are or what you said.
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Trumpbama
For those of you living under a rock, former president Jimmy Carter recently died. Whenever a former president dies, all the other former presidents and vice presidents come together like some sort of Bad Girls Club reunion episode. And this one was super juicy!
For one, Karen Pence refused to shake Donald Trump’s hand, even as her husband did.
What people noticed the most was the fact that Obama and Trump seemed to find quite a bit of time to canoodle and giggle together.
Perhaps the best part was the fact that Obama briefly ignored Trump for a two-second span where Kamala Harris turned around to look at him.
Expensive Books
It seems like there’s a big part of Twitter that’s very pro-books in theory, but also doesn’t really want to read them. Today, we have a new Type of Person, someone who thinks books are too expensive. Community note at it again.
Perhaps what’s most important is the name of this user.
In her defense, she said that there were no libraries near her. People weren’t convinced, but they did assure her that there were ways to read books online for free.
Subway Safety
This week, a NYC mom expressed concern for her and her child’s safety on the NYC metro when she was unable to access an elevator. She was slammed by the people I’ve dubbed the “Defenders of Disorder” who told her to toughen up or leave the city:
Most people were on Nicole’s side, although I think there was a vibe shift on this. A year ago I basically said the same thing and was yelled at so much I had to delete the tweet. Many such cases!
I actually covered this discourse (because it’s happened many times) in a special article, which you can find here:
This discourse apparently extended to Bluesky, where someone had this take, which was practically constructed just for Many Such Takes.
Fire Takes
Naturally, right wingers are having a moment over the Los Angeles fires, because fires don’t just happen in California of all places, right? There has to be something more to this. Usually, when there’s “something more” it’s just the Jews.
But wait—maybe the fire is from God, and specifically targeted to the Jews? Many such cases!
I can’t quite figure out what this person is saying, but I guess she thinks that the Los Angeles Mayor (who was out of the country at the time the fires started) somehow orchestrated this, with the insurance companies? I don’t know.
We got a bunch of “DEI” takes, but this one is probably my favorite because their idea of DEI is “lots of weird-colored hair on a group of exclusively white people.”
I don’t know if this person is right wing per se, but apparently Ukraine and Israel are supposed to be helping us with the fires and have forsaken us:
The final boss, of course, is Naomi Wolf, who seems to be trying just about everything.
Horny German
Okay, I hate that I have to feature Ian Miles Cheong here for anything other than making fun of him, but he did break this story on Twitter (or at least his tweet about it went viral.)
People zoomed in on one particular raunchy reply:
Overall, the denizens of Twitter support Bernd and his horny self:
Other Funny Tweets/Happenings
This woman learned the difference between how people refer to “trainers” (aka sneakers) in the UK, versus in the US (personal trainers)
Twitter users discussed the moment that Zendaya knew she was attracted to Tom Holland, when he did a goofy drag performance. Many users claimed that this type of masculinity is what women “really want.” I’ll be honest, I’ll pass, but have fun out there!
People dismayed over Timothee Chalamet not being an “old soul with French proclivities.”
My favorite part of the “jerking off on the subway tweet” is that the guy’s avatar is James Baldwin, who’s surely rolling in his grave by association.
I'm old and it's very possible I've misunderstood what "down bad" means? Because it's, uh, not the term I would use to describe the LA fires