Many Such Takes: The Girls are Fighting, Summer Wedding, Orgy Time

The most unhinged discourse of the week, always free

Welcome to Many Such Takes! For those unfamiliar, this is a free weekly segment (I also do lots of other stuff!) For Many Such Takes, I stay up to date with the latest and most chaotic Twitter (and now BlueSky) discourse so you don’t have to. If you see yourself featured here and you don’t like it, simply send me a Substack message and I will happily remove, no matter who you are or what you said.

Updates and Free Article

And now, a few announcements:

• As promised, I will remove the paywall from an article, and that article is The Silent Tension Between Moms and Nannies

• If you want to try out a fake dating app (yes, even if you are married) have a go at my dating app simulator, which will be used for future articles.

  • If you want your photos to be used for the simulator, you can submit here.

• I still need more respondents for my survey on married sex.

• Check out my free Trump impression that somehow went on for 8 minutes

Also, here’s what Twitter is like these days:

The Girls are Fighting

Shit got messy between former besties Donald Trump and Elon Musk this week, when they appeared to part ways, and in a fit of rage, Musk went on a Twitter tirade, ultimately accusing Trump of being on the Epstein files (he later deleted the tweet—thankfully nobody saw it, all good!) I wrote a full article about this yesterday about how Trump is always the “dom” in any relationship (including this one) and we should never be fooled into thinking that any shadow president is pulling the strings (TBD on Putin, he may be the exception, but I have some alternative theories—check out the article for the full story.)

Anyway, the Musk/Trump catfight was so funny that my poll showed they found it funnier than the all-time Twitter memory of Trump getting covid (you had to be there.)

Anyway, naturally, this was THE topic for the entire day (and bled into the next day.)

Richard Hanania tried his hand at writing JD Vance’s inevitable tweet on the topic, and it was creepily uncanny:

Let’s check in on how this is going over at Bluesky. Surely they’ll be funny about it, right?

Meanwhile, those on the right who didn’t want to choose between Mommy and Daddy concluded that they were just le trolling:

Orgy Time

Maybe you’re familiar with Nicholas Decker or maybe you’re not, but I would describe him as one of the mot chaotic liberal posters on Twitter. He’s famous for his article about how you have an ethical duty to give your children the best genes possible, even if that means using a sperm or egg donor. Earlier this year, he was visited by the Secret Service for another article, which I’m not going to link for obvious reasons. But anyway, he began flirting a bit with the famed Substacker/sex writer/sex worker and ruiner of the sankey diagram, Aella:

After the two exchanged some top bant, Aella floated the idea of rewarding good tweets with orgies.

Shortly after, Nicholas Decker posted a photo implying that he was the lucky recipient of the Posting Orgy:

Apparently this was already on the betting markets:

It’s not clear if anything sexual actually happened or if it was just a joke for the sake of posting, but if it’s just a joke, I think that further confirms Nicholas as exactly the type of poster who deserves an orgy.

Summer Wedding

As I’ve mentioned several times on Fashion Fridays, I don’t have a great eye for style and a lot of the outfits I put together just seem off in a vague way I can’t explain. And sometimes, I see a style championed as “universally flattering” or “perfect” when from my vantage point it looks like hot garbage. Example:

Anyway, today I saw what might actually be the ugliest dress in human history go viral on Twitter for being the perfect dress for a summer wedding. I promise you, you are not prepared for this:

Newport

You know those AI-generated images of a white, trad world that (((they))) took from you? Well, this week, Kiel James Patrick, who isn’t even a right-wing or political account (he’s considered the “preppiest influencer alive” and mostly does stuff around fashion and aesthetics) released a commercial for his brick and mortar shop in Newport, Rhode Island. I’m not sure if he knew what was going to happen. Most of his Twitter is just photos of golden retrievers, him and his wife looking impeccably groomed on lawn chairs, and photos of pretty flowers. So in this case, I truly think this was accidental. BUT ANYWAY….I think you can all imagine how this went down.

The video displayed an idyllic preppy town where everyone was young, white and beautiful. Presumably, they were also wearing Kiel James Patrick clothing. It was giving J.Crew or Lily Pulitzer ads from the early 2000s before *Trump voice* DEI!!! But anyway, because everyone noticed the lack of diversity, right-wing accounts immediately started praising the video for showing what life would look like if we deported all the people of color.

I don’t even know what this is about. Does this guy think KJP is a…woman? Or is he talking about the first woman in the video, who appears to be an actress?

Of course, to be fair, I’ll include a take from the other side:

Anyway, one could argue that regardless of how you personally feel about it, it’s good to have diversity in your ads to ward off the hordes of groypers who might become emotionally attached to your advertisement. On the other hand, perhaps KJP knew that “no publicity is bad publicity?” Who knows. But either way, the cotton sweaters on his website are lowkey kinda cute *flees for the hills*

Other Tweets/Funny Happenings

• I don’t really know the whole story behind this one, but I’m obsessed with the house. CHH coded!

After Azealia Banks came out, surprisingly, as being rabidly pro-Israel, someone dug up an old tweet that foretold this development—her suspiciously Jewish deli order:

Age gap discourse is somehow getting even worse?

You might have missed…