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The Cultural Romantic's avatar

“The horniest I’ve ever been” tweet justifying why Sydney is a registered republican is hilarious 🤣🤣

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KetamineCal's avatar

Being a registered Republican with no known political contributions or statements is so perfectly centrist that I can't rule out that it's an ingenious piece of marketing. Somehow it seems even more perfectly calibrates than if she was unregistered or independent. It even gives overthinkers a way to feel good about appreciating her hotness.

Prepare for the Sydney Sweeney swing voter discourse.

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The Cultural Romantic's avatar

🤣🤣🤣🤣why is this so funny

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The Cultural Romantic's avatar

This time I know some of the topics you mentioned mainly because I was stressed and went to Twitter to relax by reading about highly stressed people talking about very stressful topics.

Heidi is being so insane. I used to like her. Conspiracy theory: is it because she has brown hair? 🥲🥲

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Elizabeth Thinks's avatar

> I was stressed and went to Twitter to relax by reading about highly stressed people talking about very stressful topics

This is the most painfully true description of news-scrolling I've ever seen 😭

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The Cultural Romantic's avatar

I try to be honest with my addictions (sugar and twitter). holding myself accountable etc :)

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Sailor Io's avatar

It's interesting to me that people assume that how Pamela Anderson is dressing and grooming herself now, when she's not really beholden to anyone in that way, must be the "act," but how she was doing all that when she was a big star who was constantly in the public eye must have been the Authentic Representation. It couldn't possibly be that anyone was pressuring her in how she dressed or did her makeup THEN. /s

We've talked on here about the strange way that people try to make women wearing feminine clothes and makeup out to be "right-wing-coded"* and how insane that is (and it is), but it's equally insane to me how people will argue the opposite too - that women not wearing makeup, which is so much easier to do than the opposite, it's literally what you do if you roll out of bed in the morning, is also somehow a right-wing statement. The "it's a tradwife thing" is new to me (I thought the whole point of the "clean girl" look is that you are actually wearing a lot of product, just in a way that isn't immediately visible) but I've seen a lot of "you're a pickme disrespecting women's emotional labor when they put on makeup" type of discourse before. I've seen a lot of stuff in online queer communities that act like not wanting to wear make-up is somehow anti-queer, which, for starters, is a strange version of queer culture that seems to discount lesbians and our "culture" entirely....

The ultimate conclusion seems to be, as that Maia tweet suggests, that women are damned no matter what we do or don't do. Wearing make-up is Republican. Not wearing make-up is also somehow Republican. There's no way for your appearance not to be "Republican," apparently.

*sidenote, as someone who teaches media studies, I really just want to take the word "coded" away from everyone on the Internet, they have no idea what it means.

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The Cultural Romantic's avatar

Basically if you’re not “breaking expectations” by not looking feminine at all - both typical feminine and clean girl aesthetic is feminine - and not attractive to men then you’re trad. Cause why are you conforming to expectations instead of doing some post post meta meta meta meta ironic symbolised by wearing a deconstructed sailor moon outfit but with a man’s boots (one size too big) and septum ring.

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Sailor Io's avatar

I get what you're saying, but women not wearing makeup isn't "conforming to expectations" either. And the lesbians I mentioned in my comment aren't trying to look attractive to men. So why is that somehow "trad-coded" too?

I think it's just that people want to receive political kudos for their subjective personal tastes, and so whichever they personally prefer (wearing make-up, not wearing make-up, dressing ultra-feminine, dressing feminine in an "ironic" way with combat boots, dressing neutrally or masculine) is the "progressive" way to do things. And so whatever they perceive as the "opposite" of that is "trad-coded." The "feminine but in an ironic way with combat boots" thing isn't the opposite of anything, though, it occupies a weird middle ground, so maybe that's why it's spared. I'm sure we're only a few discourse cycles away from that somehow becoming "trad-coded" in its own way though.

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The Cultural Romantic's avatar

But you are trying to look pretty without makeup. You are not disfiguring yourself. No ugly tattoos. No "high fashion" weird clothes choices that make you look "not for the guys". You dont have your tongue out. You dont have a septum piercing. You dont have those weird baby curls some people are doing these days on their forehead. You need to make a man WORK to find you pretty. Everyone can see Pamela is pretty. She is beautiful. Not wearing makeup takes nothing away from her 10/10ness and that is NOT right. If you are that beautiful you must democratize yourself so that you look halfway toward hideous and Heidi can feel good about herself. I hate that I am being mean here, but I have literally seen this, like if you ask them to break it down, this is what it is.

And I dont know much about queer culture or lesbian culture, but like maybe if you don't "dress" up you are not a visible member of the "tribe" so a man who sees you on the street could *in principle* objectify you and by not "dressing as the tribe" you are inviting his objectification. Plus there is the assumption that men already find lesbians hot. Just throwing this out as an idea. Assume I know nothing in terms of lived experience, because I genuinely do not.

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Sailor Io's avatar

I've also known quite a lot of people who make those grooming choices and while I personally haven't, I don't know that I agree with you that that's the case with all or even most of them. I think some people do those things because they personally like how they look. I think a lot of high fashion is more about the designers wanting to express themselves and try weird things than anything about the people wearing them; a lot of them are not really designed to be worn by people in any particular real-life social situation. That can be criticized, but that is still what that is.

There's also a bit of an assumption in your post that women's grooming choices are either about being attractive to men, or not being attractive to men. I know CHH has said that she personally cares about that, and I think she's telling the truth for her and a lot of women (including many women who posture that they don't actually care about that, but really they do), but not all. One of the things that's worth noting here is that a lot of these choices you've mentioned here are common among queer women, and so what those women might be doing along with/instead of repelling men is *attracting other women*. There are things that a lot of lesbian and bi women find attractive in other women that straight men generally don't, such as tattoos or piercings. (I'm not hugely into either myself in women, but it is very much A Thing that a lot of queer women are.) Then again, I've also known quite a few straight men who themselves are really into tattoos or piercings, so I have to imagine that women who are into those things might look a little different to them than to some Default Straight Man? (At the very least, as an indicator of a shared interest/hobby?)

For me, though, I feel like most days, I dress for myself, and attraction doesn't really play a role in it; I wear what I want to. That's not true of every woman, but I don't see why it's inconceivable that it might be for some of us if it is for men. I also think a lot of (straight) men care more about what women think of how they dress than admit it, but it seems less inconceivable to say that men might choose to move through the world without putting the opposite sex's view of them first than that women might do so as well. I think both men and women deserve to be able to make grooming decisions without it being scrutinized as either an attempt to attract or repel people of any gender, but just which clothes they personally enjoy wearing for one reason or another. It's just neutral.

Long story short, I think CHH is right about the role that these kinds of grooming choices play in The Discourse, but I disagree that I think that's the reason most real women get tattoos or septum piercings or what-have-you. I think what's telling is that a lot of people elevating those grooming choices in The Discourse aren't actually doing it themselves.

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The Cultural Romantic's avatar

I am only talking about the commentors like Heidi, not about the real women who dress up as they like, and most often do it because its cute or etc. I highly doubt any woman is adding a labubu charm to her bag to either repel or attract a man. We know men aren't even going to see there is a charm on a bag.

I agree with you that I mostly dress for myself and mostly dress based on seasons. When I dress for a man it's very specific like if I am going on a date etc, then also I wont wear something out of the ordinary, I will just be more nervous and anxious and wonder about how he is going to like me etc.

As an example, I had a nose piercing and upper ear piercings back in 2004 when they were considered quite outre. Later they closed up naturally but my discoursey art friends always look surprised and shocked when they see those old pictures because I looked like a "baddie" then. The assumption being I look normie (boring) now.

I doubt Pamela is doing anything for anyone, she looks like she has no fucks to give.

But there is a set of people, lets call them commentators or people who "make discourse" and they percieve things like this and I was writing my comment imagining their voice. That is why I said "if you ask them to break it down, this is what it is." but maybe I was a bit unclear.

I am sure that lesbians dress literally for each other but the discourse-y people use these things to make commentary.

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Will I Am's avatar

I think men should try this - go for the grizzled lumberjack look, but with red stilettos.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FshU58nI0Ts

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The Cultural Romantic's avatar

lolllllll

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A Belsey's avatar

Well, to give Heidi the respect she deserves, she has for a long time been consistently a massive fucking idiot.

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Wes's avatar

She's an artist whether she knows it or not

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Toiler On the Sea's avatar

Who is this woman?

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A Belsey's avatar

So many possible answers, but in an effort to show not tell, I’ll just say that she’s the kind of person who unironically tweets things like, “France loves me because I am literally built different and read constantly about their literature, music and culture.”

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The Cultural Romantic's avatar

She has some knowledge about fashion and some topics but she has that leftist woman instinct of trying to be a political expert as well with all the correct opinions that surprisingly line up with every antifa member.

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Matt's avatar

Hey I just wanted to say thank you for the weekly joy of this column.

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KetamineCal's avatar

I didn't recognize Pamela Anderson. But that's a truly neutral observation and my interest ends at "oh cool. Hope they're happy."

Once I started blocking everyone who annoyed me on Twitter (Heidi would be a good example of someone I'd block) I figured it was time to log off. After nearly a half-century on this planet, I have enough people in my life working through issues and it feels almost voyeuristic to watch someone so desperate for attention.

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David Roberts's avatar

I've learned that the Irish call anything expensive a "notion." Baroness Debonniare is a good one.

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Ben Shutov-Gonne's avatar

The expensive thing is not the notion. Flashy people are said to take on notions (beliefs) when they rate themselves too highly. And that's when they need to be taken down a peg or two.

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Alex S's avatar

Every single anecdote I see about Ireland on Twitter is like "I went outside once wearing a hat and everyone in the country made fun of me for the next thirty years about it".

Either that or Irish people inventing entirely new ways to be racist about "Somalians".

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Cian's avatar

"Notions" doesn't necessarily mean expensive, it means having a too-high opinion of yourself. It's a sort of "tall poppy syndrome"/law of Jante type of criticism, but it would often track with things being expensive, because you must think you're very special and high and mighty to be going around spending so much money on that thing.

It could also just be about taste though, like you might be be accused of having notions if you think you're above eating fast food or drinking cheap alcohol too.

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KetamineCal's avatar

After spending a couple weeks in Ireland, that tweet became twice as funny.

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Satisficer's avatar

I'm 17 and AFRAID of that lamb doll

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Cartoons Hate Her's avatar

LMAO

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BetterUserNameThanBefore's avatar

You should add a single footnote at the end of yesterday's article and just link it to this article as proof of your thesis in yesterday's piece.

I am a big fan of Dr Squatch soaps and a few months ago they had a lottery for a soap made with Sydney Sweeney's bathwater. Very limited edition. I did not win. Hah. Didn't see any uproar over that.

And people are referencing fascism waaaay too much. I recently redid some lecture courses on WW2 and laughed out loud again at what Mussolini once said when he was asked to define fascism. He pointed forcefully at his chest with his finger, his eyes bugged out, and he just said "ME!!!"

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KetamineCal's avatar

"STOP MAKING FASCISM SEEM ATTRACTIVE," I yet again yell at my left flank.

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BetterUserNameThanBefore's avatar

Yes, it’s madness.

“If that’s wrong, I don’t wanna be right.”

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pj's avatar

That's not even "zero makeup." I guess it doesn't count as makeup unless you look completely unrealistic?

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Flea's avatar

I was gonna say, there is no way that is no makeup, it is a variant of ‘the natural look’ which often uses more makeup or at least more technical knowledge than a lot of flashier makeup looks…

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LarryBirdsMoustache's avatar

If that's really what she looks like at the age of 70 with no makeup she has an amazing plastic surgeon and, dare I say it, possibly even great genes.

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disinterested's avatar

She’s 58, no idea where that person got 70 from.

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Toiler On the Sea's avatar

Neeson is 73; dude dated a 30-something Helen Mirren in the early 80s.

Glad he's finding romantic love again though. The fact he wasn't screwing every hot Hollywood starlet over the past 15 years (which he could've easily done) shows how much grief he had after the death of his wife. The depth of his love for her was inspiring yet tragic.

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Mara U.'s avatar

I remember when she died. So random, unforeseen and tragic.

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LarryBirdsMoustache's avatar

Then it's less unbelievable, I guess, but still pretty good

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The Cultural Romantic's avatar

How dare you. Mention. Genes. You Naxi!!

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KH's avatar

Lmaooo I love that LinkedIn is operating in its own universe of galaxy brain lol

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Elena Bridgers's avatar

Thank you for the laughs 🤣 it’s nuts out there. We may as well find the humor.

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Chris's avatar

For all the talk about gooners calling hot women “mid,” intrasexual competition is where the real action is (and women know the right buttons to push). But seriously Pam Anderson looks amazing!

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Chris's avatar

Also loving the fantastic new plan by leftists to tell women that if they want to look pretty it _definitely_ means they’re fascists. That will definitely convert them to the cause!

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Lilly's avatar

I've alluded to this before when commenting here: In a culture as individualized and atomized as ours, where Pam is to be celebrated in both "Barb Wire succubus" aesthetic as well as "Little House on the Prairie" prudish clean girl vibes, is one where there male pursuit of gender non-conformity should be celebrated as well; it is healthier for a person to channel their own sense of desirability and expression through themselves, rather than complaining about what other people do.

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Star-Crowned Ariadne's avatar

“Deep tech technologies”. lol

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Spider's avatar

I look forward to this roundup every week! I don't understand how you kept that fucking masterpiece of a linkedin post in the runners up though, it had everything I want from unhinged Linkedin posts - a bizarre story clearly missing important beats, an attempt at narrative, unwarranted self-importance, an "and then everybody clapped" style ending, and somehow being completely earnest. Muah, chef's kiss.

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