Many Such Takes: "Hot" JD Vance, Cishet Moo Deng, Israeli Domme
The most unhinged discourse of the week, always free
Welcome to Many Such Takes! I stay up to date with the latest and most chaotic Twitter discourse so you don’t have to. If you see yourself featured here and you don’t like it, simply send me a Substack message and I will happily remove, no matter who you are or what you said. For previous issues of Many Such Takes, see this tab on my main page. Many Such Takes will always be free, so please become a free subscriber to see more every Sunday!
“Hot” JD Vance
I will not live in the cottage. I will not eat the sourdough. I will not goon to JD Vance.
After the VP debate this week (where I’ll admit that overall, JD Vance did a decent job) Twitter was awash with people trying to gaslight women into thinking JD Vance is hot.
People seem hyperfocused on one particular shot, in which JD Vance was lowkey serving Jim Halpert realness:
I’ll be honest, as a woman in JD Vance’s general age range: he’s not bad-looking. As far as famous politicians go (keep in mind this is a group that contains Chuck Grassley, who is about two hundred years old, and Blake Masters, who looks like a Victorian serial killer who collects skulls) he is above average. There, I said it! He’s not bad looking! But we have to admit we are working with a different scale here. “Politician hot” is even less hot than “office hot.”
This led to a sitting member of Congress “yassifying” JD Vance, presumably hoping nobody would notice:
Things took a turn and people began to satirize the tweet, posting their own edited version of JD Vance. My personal favorite was the “Costco Guy JD Vance.”
But perhaps this tweet from 2022 is the best description of JD Vance’s appearance:
Cishet Moo Deng
As Trump would say, the “failing” SNL with “terrible ratings” is back. And as part of the Weekend Update segment (think Many Such Takes, but worse) actor Bowen Yang portrayed the viral sensation, baby hippo Moo Deng.
If this sounds suspiciously like a skit from the fictional “TGS” show from 30 Rock, you’re not off-base. But what got people on Twitter absolutely furious about this was that Yang was channeling singer Chappell Roan, who has recently gone viral for struggling to cope with the onslaught of attention, both positive and negative, from fans. While I think celebrities as major as Chappell Roan should be fair game for some light teasing (if SNL ever makes fun of me by portraying me as a baby hippo, I’d be thrilled) people were not happy with Yang for “targeting” a “queer woman.” Especially as a “cishet gay man!”
Bowen Yang himself has said that his intent was not to mock Roan:
To sum it all up:
Israeli Domme
There are many takes that can be made about Israel/Palestine, and many tragedies unfolding. But perhaps the most serious of these tragedies was detailed on Bluesky (and later reposted on Twitter) from a user who is extremely concerned for a friend in Israel:
Seems normal enough to care about a friend. Oh wait!
This is serious business, guys. Not only are people dying, but people are edging.
Other Discourse Skirmishes
The natural disaster in Asheville has prompted some proud members of the “sub-90 IQ club” to suggest that Jews control the weather:
Others yet are falling for AI slop about the hurricane—some of which is understandable for someone with terrible eyesight or media literacy, but somehow even images like this are slipping through:
Meanwhile, tradwife account The Feminist Turned HouseWife posted this tweet which I thought was pretty uncontroversial:
Unfortunately, men in her replies were very triggered by the suggestion that it’s wrong to cheat on your pregnant wife. Why, you may ask? Because birds do it.
Then we have this ironically named spin artist who coined the term “external masturbation.”
Deep Dive: BDSM Tradwives
A bizarre video by “Godmother of Tradwives” Lori Alexander (aka The Transformed Wife) prompted the discussion: is the tradwife stuff just a form of BDSM? I wrote about that in the below deep dive:
External Masturbation was the name of my band in college
*guy voting republican cause he’s gay for vance*