Many Such Takes: Elon's Baby, Aella on Whatever, Lori Spotting and More

The most unhinged discourse of the week, always free

Welcome to Many Such Takes! For those unfamiliar, this is a free weekly segment (I also do lots of other stuff!) For Many Such Takes, I stay up to date with the latest and most chaotic Twitter (and now BlueSky) discourse so you don’t have to. If you see yourself featured here and you don’t like it, simply send me a Substack message and I will happily remove, no matter who you are or what you said.

For previous issues of Many Such Takes, see this tab on my main page.

Also, you may have seen my recent study on what men and women want for Valentine’s Day, or my much more in-depth two-part series on the sexual habits of high-earning men. In case you haven’t yet qualified to fill out one of my anonymous surveys, there might be two new opportunities!

• Fill this one out if you have ever asked Reddit for relationship advice before- open to all ages, genders, and orientations.

• Fill this one out if you’re an American never-married single person who dates a gender other than your own at least 50% of the time. Open to all genders and ages.

The Tradwife Scandal

I feel like I have to at least address the major tradwife scandal that hit Twitter this week, but sadly, I don’t think I’ll be able to say anything funny. For those unaware, it turned out that a very prolific anonymous tradwife account (not mine, I swear) was (purportedly) lying about her identity, and was essentially catfishing all of Twitter. While this seems like classic Many Such Takes material, I won’t be covering the lurid details or making jokes about it for a few reasons:

1. It veers away from “online goofiness” and gets into the category of “real life doxxing,” which is not MST material.

2. If it’s not true, I don’t want to smear someone.

3. If it is true, it’s a very sad situation and I don’t want to bully someone who’s clearly having a hard time.

Sorry to disappoint. On the bright side, this scandal was only one of the things that hit Twitter this week, so get ready!

Elon’s New Baby

This one has hit the news by now, but it first hit on Twitter—where else but the Everything App?

If Elon Musk likes anything, it’s fathering more children out of wedlock than a Maury contestant. And his thirteenth child has apparently been born in secret to conservative social media influencer Ashley St. Clair, who has confirmed the rumor (Musk has not responded.)

Milo Yiannopoulos suggested that St. Clair had been plotting to have Musk’s baby for at least five years. For some reason I assumed that he had gotten her pregnant via IVF as part of his pronatalist project or whatever, but it sounds like they actually did have a romance, which involved her promising to keep his name off the child’s birth certificate. I suppose the existence of a romance doesn’t disprove the idea that they also did IVF—is it really that easy for a guy in his fifties who sleeps one hour a night to get someone pregnant “by accident?”

Dating back to 2023, there was evidence of the pair flirting on the TL, using the doge meme, of course:

Meanwhile, Lilly Gaddis, who was featured on the very first issue of Many Such Takes for attempting to grift an edgy right-wing tradwife influencer deal while spouting racial slurs, tried to get attention but posting once again that she isn’t Jewish (nobody cares, Lilly! Not now!)

Anyway, when something like this happens, there are about a million tweets people will dig up to say, “This you?” and of course, it’s very funny.

While most Twitter users (even on the right) clowned on St. Clair for hypocrisy, some insisted that having lots of children out of wedlock with many women is actually very based and trad!

Also, maybe we’re just jealous:

But those criticizing Ashley for her looks weren’t women—they were men like the host of the Whatever podcast, which can best be described as a consensual humiliation ritual—kind of like when that poor man on The Purge agreed to let the rich family pick him up in a limo and kill him if they sent money to his family. Very sad!

Anyway, the guys of the Whatever podcast clearly don’t…like women at all? I’m not even talking about misogyny (although that’s a given) but they actually don’t even seem to think any women are good-looking. Anyway, their take on the Ashley/Musk situation is simply that he’s out of her league. Don’t worry, Ashley, these guys think quite literally every man is out of every woman’s league.

Speaking of “this you?” people noticed that St. Clair received a significant increase in X monetization around the time that she was pregnant with Elon’s baby.

Some folks have predicted that the next (or perhaps, current?) Elon baby mama will be Tiffany Fong, who previously posted suspiciously high monetization payouts. (Meanwhile, here I am being removed from monetization for no reason—clearly not breedable at all!)

But of course, I (and apparently dril) are wondering why, if a woman wants a child with superior genes, she would pick Elon Musk:

Aella on Whatever

As I mentioned in the Ashley St. Clair section, there’s a podcast called Whatever, which basically exists to lure a bunch of women to be humiliated (or sit there while men attempt to humiliate them.) Imagine the sweatiest, most annoying guys from the debate team in your high school, except they’ve attended an e-course about seduction and “women’s true nature” and their new favorite topic is women’s inherent immorality.

Anyway, Aella, possibly one of the biggest Twitter main characters of all time, went on the podcast and sat there for a full seven hours while men attempted to poke holes in her arguments. Unfortunately for the Whatever podcast, Aella is…actually kinda smart? So the video of her on the podcast looked a bit like a fed-up eighth grade teacher dealing with an arrogant smartass student who isn’t even very smart, as he tried to argue with her about her work in statistics. I’ll be honest, I didn’t watch the full seven hour video so I’m not even sure what he’s arguing about, but he’s clearly wrong.

A podcast best known for arguing with Onlyfans girls about “hitting the wall” probably didn’t anticipate that they would be talking to a stats nerd about coefficients and variables, and I don’t think they expected that they would come out of it looking like the stupid ones, but here we are.

Anyway, if you really want to torment yourself, watch the whole thing here. Fun fact: this is also the episode that featured Lilly Philipps, the woman who filmed her 100-man gangbang, yet the clip that went viral was Aella asking a guy if he “knew what a correlation was.”

Lori Spotting

This isn’t really “news” if you’re familiar with former Chicago mayor Lori Lightfoot, but someone saw her in a local liquor store dressed like this:

This sighting prompted other Twitter users to muse on Lightfoot’s most iconic moments, and the fact that she exudes “main character energy.”

Funny Tweets/Other Happenings

• Scurvy trauma from past life as a sailor, because why the hell not:

• Maia Poet, who is probably one of the most commonly clowned-on Twitter users in history, posted a video of an amputee village in Cambodia with a voiceover claiming that in one area of Vietnam, women demand men cut off their arms as dowry.

• Someone reposted this old (great) tweet in response to incels calling Anne Hathaway “mid.” New evergreen reaction tweet dropped:

• This tweet that I actually thought was serious at first:

• Speaking of Kendrick Lamar:

• Kendrick Lamar bravely speaking out against the Cabal:

  

• Slack’s microaggression against lesbians:

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