Before I read this, I'll need you to put your qualifications in your byline. If not a PhD, your BA and MRS will work just fine.
Also, I will require a companion piece on how you were invited to perform at the Saudi Comedy Festival as a warm-up act for Dave Chappelle, but after grappling with it (it's a lot of dough!), your conscience simply wouldn't let you.
If you can't manage these two small things I will have to strike you off my list of progressive and provocative think-piece writers who support and reinforce my own neurosis. That's how it goes; I don't make this stuff up.
“all the world need to know I have PhD/JD/MPH!!!!!” (Like I get it, getting phd is hard and you feel like you don’t get the treatment you deserve but idk if all the world need to know this in order to read your stuff lol
You think you're devastated! What about me as a man having to deal with the trauma that Travis Kelce will be remembered not as one of the greatest receivers in the history of NFL but as the husband of someone far more famous and successful. All self-respecting, status-maximizing men have to feel for Travis and how his love for Taylor has put him into such a terrible situation.
Think of poor Tom Brady having to continue playing long after everyone else his age had retired just to be known as something other than Gisele’s husband!
This too is a bizarre section of the internet -- men dissing the masculimity of a pro football player because his wife is richer and more famous. Like, okay Zack. But your shift at Macdonalds is starting soon so get your apron and get moving. And don't forget to beat your gf this evening so we all kmow how strong and manly you are!
I know. I was commenting on the reality that made your reply funny. Have literally seen men discussing how on earth someone can be at all manly while in a relationship with a "girlboss."
My understanding is Travis is close to retirement. If Taylor performs for as long as Madonna has, then he's going to be playing "second fiddle" for another 30 years!
My vote is TS is going to taks a long break from performing to have kids. The clock is ticking. She may be back later once she realizes that celebritied can't live in the burbs.
"Alternatively, she can enjoy men in one particular way—getting divorced, traveling the world and fucking the equivalent of a himbo rendition of “It’s a Small World After All,” then summarily writing a confessional essay in The Cut about how she learned from the experience."
You have this backwards, CHH. She's supposed to get divorced when she gets back to Brooklyn AFTER her sexy solo trip around the world. That way, she can write unapologetically about how liberating it feels to cheat on one's spouse! Waiting until after deciding to divorce your husband to have sex with other people is so 2015.
Excuse me, you said "cheat on one's spouse" when I'm sure you meant "break down the arbitrary limits on a woman's midlife sexual reawakening that the patriarchy has long imposed under backwards concepts like 'monogamy' or 'fidelity,' which is empowering for wives to do but don't even think about it, husbands."
horrible writing. completely misguided. the biggest reach of all reaches. you give liberals a bad name when you write in bad faith like this. you are an embarrassment to writers and this article is an embarrassment to "think pieces". the one from CHH is incredible and worth sharing. yours is worth pointing and laughing at, as i come to the realization that the online left is quite frankly doomed if anyone agrees with a single thought you wrote out.
You’re a literal fascist for even suggesting that the Democratic Party is inaccessible. Are you seriously willing to compromise your morals just to let racists and sexists elect some moderate neoliberal? #Luigi2028
Gross, I can't believe you'd suggest Luigi - someone who's extremely problematic for reasons entirely related to his techbro interests and libertarian-coded views. Who's next - Gavin Newsom as his VP?
HOW DARE YOU. Luigi is imperfect because he represents the imperfections in all of us. To compare him to the Democrats’ discount Trump is vile. Luigi’s VP is going to be Zohran, and they’re going to put the rest of the insurance CEOs and major landlords up for crimes against humanity.
I mean the nerve of these boomer so-called liberals thinking that polltical parties should be concerned about people actually voting for them so they can win elections!
The online gender wars: "Men need to try harder. They need to take care of their bodies, earn more money, make me laugh, succeed beyond any reasonable measure of success, pursue successful intellectually-minded career-oriented women of the same age, achieve enormous fame while being able to protect me but also while being thoughtful, emotionally open, assertive but not too assertive, and fully on board with feminism."
Travis Kelce: apparently all those things.
The online gender wars: "Travis Kelce is the worst thing to ever happen to women in history"...apparently.
I'd also be keen to read a piece from an ovoid cultural conservative and adult Catholic convert explaining why Taylor Swift marrying at 35 will inevitably precipitate a baby boom/religious revival (of High Church Anglicanism and Traditional Latin Mass Catholicism, thank you!) among legions of newly-minted trad wives.
😭😭😭😭😭 This is soooo goood CHH. I wrote another satirical piece a week or so ago but this is so good...more ironic. I can never get the hang of that somehow...
I actually started (lightly) listening to Taylor Swift several years ago in an attempt to be a cool dad that relates to his teenage daughters. Of course my daughters moved on and like more grown up edgy stuff now. But I still occasionally click on the Taylor Swift playlist on my Spotify.
I don't get the hate or the weirdness surrounding this woman. Your and CHH's explanations for the feminist overraction to Swift are both pretty spot on.
The guys who hate her just seem to be taking out their rage against all women. No other explanation seems rational as Swift is probably the least annoying pop star ever. Her problem also might be one of overexposure. When you're famous, people tend to love you right before they get sick of you and then decide to hate you.
Before I read this, I'll need you to put your qualifications in your byline. If not a PhD, your BA and MRS will work just fine.
Also, I will require a companion piece on how you were invited to perform at the Saudi Comedy Festival as a warm-up act for Dave Chappelle, but after grappling with it (it's a lot of dough!), your conscience simply wouldn't let you.
If you can't manage these two small things I will have to strike you off my list of progressive and provocative think-piece writers who support and reinforce my own neurosis. That's how it goes; I don't make this stuff up.
“all the world need to know I have PhD/JD/MPH!!!!!” (Like I get it, getting phd is hard and you feel like you don’t get the treatment you deserve but idk if all the world need to know this in order to read your stuff lol
You left off the lack of pronouns.
You think you're devastated! What about me as a man having to deal with the trauma that Travis Kelce will be remembered not as one of the greatest receivers in the history of NFL but as the husband of someone far more famous and successful. All self-respecting, status-maximizing men have to feel for Travis and how his love for Taylor has put him into such a terrible situation.
Think of poor Tom Brady having to continue playing long after everyone else his age had retired just to be known as something other than Gisele’s husband!
Buddy you’re just mad cuz he has a red wood tree cock and you don’t!!!!!!!!
This too is a bizarre section of the internet -- men dissing the masculimity of a pro football player because his wife is richer and more famous. Like, okay Zack. But your shift at Macdonalds is starting soon so get your apron and get moving. And don't forget to beat your gf this evening so we all kmow how strong and manly you are!
I was riffing sarcastically on CHH’s sarcastic post. Of course I’m not distraught!
I know. I was commenting on the reality that made your reply funny. Have literally seen men discussing how on earth someone can be at all manly while in a relationship with a "girlboss."
it was I who missed the sarcasm! Sorry about that.
My understanding is Travis is close to retirement. If Taylor performs for as long as Madonna has, then he's going to be playing "second fiddle" for another 30 years!
My vote is TS is going to taks a long break from performing to have kids. The clock is ticking. She may be back later once she realizes that celebritied can't live in the burbs.
It's all over for Kelcels. Lie down and rot, boyos.
"Alternatively, she can enjoy men in one particular way—getting divorced, traveling the world and fucking the equivalent of a himbo rendition of “It’s a Small World After All,” then summarily writing a confessional essay in The Cut about how she learned from the experience."
You have this backwards, CHH. She's supposed to get divorced when she gets back to Brooklyn AFTER her sexy solo trip around the world. That way, she can write unapologetically about how liberating it feels to cheat on one's spouse! Waiting until after deciding to divorce your husband to have sex with other people is so 2015.
Excuse me, you said "cheat on one's spouse" when I'm sure you meant "break down the arbitrary limits on a woman's midlife sexual reawakening that the patriarchy has long imposed under backwards concepts like 'monogamy' or 'fidelity,' which is empowering for wives to do but don't even think about it, husbands."
I didn't base this on any specific book or author. I clearly didn't need to for an example to jump so quickly to mind for someone!
This is the only Taylor Swift thinkpiece I have consented to reading.
may i entice you to consensually read one of mine???? https://open.substack.com/pub/leftiejane/p/yet-more-evidence-that-taylor-is?r=pm4cz&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=false
is this...high satire to the degree that it's indistinguishable from the real thing
I fear mine is actually the real thing *hides face* but if you’d like it better as satire it can be that too
horrible writing. completely misguided. the biggest reach of all reaches. you give liberals a bad name when you write in bad faith like this. you are an embarrassment to writers and this article is an embarrassment to "think pieces". the one from CHH is incredible and worth sharing. yours is worth pointing and laughing at, as i come to the realization that the online left is quite frankly doomed if anyone agrees with a single thought you wrote out.
thank you for saying it
You’re a literal fascist for even suggesting that the Democratic Party is inaccessible. Are you seriously willing to compromise your morals just to let racists and sexists elect some moderate neoliberal? #Luigi2028
Gross, I can't believe you'd suggest Luigi - someone who's extremely problematic for reasons entirely related to his techbro interests and libertarian-coded views. Who's next - Gavin Newsom as his VP?
HOW DARE YOU. Luigi is imperfect because he represents the imperfections in all of us. To compare him to the Democrats’ discount Trump is vile. Luigi’s VP is going to be Zohran, and they’re going to put the rest of the insurance CEOs and major landlords up for crimes against humanity.
Amiright???
I mean the nerve of these boomer so-called liberals thinking that polltical parties should be concerned about people actually voting for them so they can win elections!
This but unironically
Well, damn. After reading this I had no choice but to upgrade to paid.
Jonathon Swift would approve;)
Don’t bring Taylor’s dad into this.
Oh, so on top of being a MAGA tradwife, she’s a nepo baby too???? Disgusting.
this comment resulted in my actual death
This is a perfect comment.
Waiting for people with no understanding of satire to share this unironically in 3...2...1....
Satire on the internet is a physical impossibility. See Poe's law
<satire> ... </satire>
HAHAHAHAHAHA
Being in love with a man just feels so Victorian
A workaround is to be a nonpracticing bisexual who only dates men
slay
I don’t even know what crazy part of the internet this is responding to, but I don’t need to. 10/10 A+, no notes.
It's a conservative/neoliberal response to leftist critique of Taylor Swift.
Please explain how this is neoliberal 😂
My comment was rhetorical and tongue in cheek, so I find this response puzzling.
The online gender wars: "Men need to try harder. They need to take care of their bodies, earn more money, make me laugh, succeed beyond any reasonable measure of success, pursue successful intellectually-minded career-oriented women of the same age, achieve enormous fame while being able to protect me but also while being thoughtful, emotionally open, assertive but not too assertive, and fully on board with feminism."
Travis Kelce: apparently all those things.
The online gender wars: "Travis Kelce is the worst thing to ever happen to women in history"...apparently.
I'd also be keen to read a piece from an ovoid cultural conservative and adult Catholic convert explaining why Taylor Swift marrying at 35 will inevitably precipitate a baby boom/religious revival (of High Church Anglicanism and Traditional Latin Mass Catholicism, thank you!) among legions of newly-minted trad wives.
Were the new emotional support animals pitbulls?
😭😭😭😭😭 This is soooo goood CHH. I wrote another satirical piece a week or so ago but this is so good...more ironic. I can never get the hang of that somehow...
Which piece was that, CR?
oh here you go: https://theculturalromantic.substack.com/p/death-of-a-nightmare-oh-taylor-what
I will check it out
Look forward to hearing your thoughts!
I actually started (lightly) listening to Taylor Swift several years ago in an attempt to be a cool dad that relates to his teenage daughters. Of course my daughters moved on and like more grown up edgy stuff now. But I still occasionally click on the Taylor Swift playlist on my Spotify.
I don't get the hate or the weirdness surrounding this woman. Your and CHH's explanations for the feminist overraction to Swift are both pretty spot on.
The guys who hate her just seem to be taking out their rage against all women. No other explanation seems rational as Swift is probably the least annoying pop star ever. Her problem also might be one of overexposure. When you're famous, people tend to love you right before they get sick of you and then decide to hate you.
Agreed. I am so glad you listen to TayTay. She's given me great joy in the past couple of years :)
I loved that piece - perhaps I forgot to comment on it, though.
Oh thank you! Glad you liked it :)
You the other day: "Taylor Swift’s latest album—about which, by the way, I deserve credit for not writing a dreaded 'thinkpiece'".
You now: "I have had to hold space for this devastation over Taylor Swift’s betrayal as I can physically feel my body keeping the score."
What is the truth?! /s
I literally laugh-spit coffee on my computer reading the line "my emotional support Komodo dragon Oliver". Thanks for the mess, CHH.