I Was Twitter's Main Character Over a Sexy Dress
It Happened To Me: the Baddies of Twitter confirmed that I am a dusty loser.
The other night, my husband was out of town so I stayed up beyond our usual bedtime to sew. After sewing until approximately 2 AM, I made the incredibly dumb mistake of checking Twitter.
Has any good outcome ever come from “I was sleep-deprived and inexplicably wired so I opened Twitter?”
I only have Twitter on my laptop now. I have notifications turned off for anyone I don’t follow, and I don’t check DMs so it’s become a lot more manageable. However, when you spend less time on Twitter it becomes very jarring how tens and angry people can be over the most low-stakes things. Yes, we all know people will get heated over politics, but you haven’t seen true fury until you’ve watched Twitter spar over whether or not meat should be washed in the sink. In fact, the most anyone made me cry on Twitter—and I mean, literal sobbing—was during an argument about tomatoes.
Anyway, what low-stakes (yet somehow, incredibly aggressive) drama did I stumble into, in my self-imposed, sleep-deprived stupor? The Gucci FW26 show (aka, fall winter 2026), in particular this cunty silver bodycon dress worn by modeling legend Emily Ratajkowski:
The Twitter responses to the dress and catwalk were mostly positive, but mixed. It went a bit like this:
MOTHER!! (For those of you who are straight men, this is a good thing. For those of you who hail from Catholic Substack, this is a good thing in a different way from how it’s a good thing for you.)
What is wrong with her WALK she looks like a GUMMY WORM or a GTA HOOKER (she was walking in a very wiggly/sensual way which I assumed was intentional.)
Has anyone seen “her” baby photos? What if “she” is actually ERIC RATAJKOWSKI???
But overwhelmingly, the response was “MOTHER.” And while I may have reached chopped unc status, I knew this look was doing something my children almost never do: eating and leaving no crumbs.
Admittedly, I am not a fashion expert. I write about fashion a lot, but mostly out of curiosity because I openly admit that style doesn’t come naturally to me. My most popular fashion article was about my worst-ever outfit, so yeah. When it comes to fashion, I ask a lot of questions. I admit ignorance and lack of innate talent. This night was no exception:
I asked a question because I was confused. Not because she didn’t look good (Emily Ratajkowski would look good in anything) but because for the past year, maybe the past two years, I have been told relentlessly that being “high fashion” or being “cool” in any meaningful way meant NOT WEARING STUFF LIKE THIS. And yes, a runway is “art” in a way that regular fashion isn’t, and I know this dress isn’t currently available in stores, but runway trends trickle down! So I asked: who exactly is such a dress for? The only people who could afford it would probably never wear it. And just as I was about to doze peacefully off to sleep, I became Twitter’s Main Character.
