Cartoons Hate Her

Cartoons Hate Her

You Should Dress Up For Your Spouse

In defense of looking better for your spouse than for your coworkers.

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Cartoons Hate Her
Aug 10, 2026
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a man and woman wearing sunglasses and standing on a deck
Photo by Allen Taylor on Unsplash

I know I don’t have a lot of experience dating, so I never give Hinge advice. I will not give sexting advice either. I have never really “sexted” unless you count the one time I texted my husband something uncharacteristically aggressive and, perhaps wondering if his wife’s phone was hacked, he responded with the heart emoji.

I have, however, been married for twelve years (together for eighteen) so when it comes to marriage, I think I have at least some degree of authority. Certainly, more authority than AureliusRawLiver1488 who thinks you should marry at twelve, live in a tree, and obliterate entire nations to prove your love for your family. So I will use my credentials as a Normal Happily Married Person to say: you should consider dressing up for your spouse and expending real effort into attracting them the way you might on a first date—at least occasionally.

Yes, even if it’s been twenty years. Yes, even if you don’t like your body. Yes, even if you don’t think your spouse cares. Yes, even if you’re literally neurodivergent.

Let me explain. Sometimes, when my husband and I are stuck in the daily routine of childcare, chores, and him asking me approximately fifteen times an hour where his fingernail scissors are, I play a game with myself that I encourage you all to play too: I pretend he isn’t my husband at all, that I’m single, and I just met him on a dating app.

BTW: I’m running a 30% off sale on annual subscriptions for the next week! (Even at my regular prices, I have some of the lowest $-for-article volume pricing on Substack, but a summer sale can’t hurt.)

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