The People Who Feel Bad for Words and Objects

Feeling empathy for socks that aren't worn enough...Or just the word "socks"?

One of my favorite shows is Peep Show, which I can only describe as a British 2000’s version of Seinfeld, told from the point of view of the main characters, including their unfiltered internal monologues. One of the main characters, Mark Corrigan, is a neurotic loan manager who, in internal monologue mode, mentions feeling guilty for wearing some pairs of boxers more than others. I first heard him say this in my early twenties, and I remember thinking, him too?

For all my life, I’ve felt for inanimate objects—and even words. Completely innocuous words have the power to bring me to tears. The first time I noticed this phenomenon, I was about three and learning the song “On Top of Spaghetti.” The plight of the “poor meatball” that rolled off the plate and onto the floor upset me so deeply that I couldn’t sing the song without crying. But, for some reason I can’t explain, I was drawn to the song and felt compelled to sing it through without crying, which my mom still talks about. I would sing, break into tears, compose myself, and vow to try again, over and over. To this day, I feel a little sorry for all meatballs and the word “meatball” makes me a bit sad. I mentioned this on Twitter and found out that I wasn’t alone: