38 Comments
User's avatar
quiet house's avatar

halfway through but you are like a nuclear grade rage biater

Cartoons Hate Her's avatar

As my brother has said, I am the Michael Jordan of being annoying

Brendan's avatar

The big-budget Hollywood film "Going Down" (based on a true story) needs to include multiple Rockyesque training montages wherein our protagonist builds his resilience starting with a peach, working his way up to a grapefruit and so on.

Cartoons Hate Her's avatar

I laughed out loud at this

Karen B's avatar

You are really good at that. I'm still angry on behalf of the expectations grid girlfriend even though I know it isn't real.

Matthew Hughes's avatar

Having previously encountered the Moldova post “in the wild” and now reading this makes my day.

Jessumsica's avatar

Me too! And I fell for it!

Tuur Ruytjens's avatar

same here. the mind boggles wondering at the gazillions that must have seen it and guessing what proportion actually fell for it.

one can only hope for those poor maliciously slandered Moldovans that the believers assume the scam came from the Russian-occupied part and it was really the Putin/Trump grifter cabal that was behind it all.

Sister Trout's avatar

These are the most entertaining AITA posts I've read in a while. Reddit should let you back in, because this is excellent Redditing.

"I know I'm not Lebron." 10/10 no notes.

Zach K's avatar

I used to do the same occasionally, though I only really remember 1 post, where I tried to achieve the 50/50 ratio of yes/no AITA...

OP and their wife adopt a second dog after a family death... Wife insisted, OP was reluctant. The dog has serious behavior issues, and the husband says they need to rehome it before having kids. In the argument he slips and calls it "your dog," which upsets his wife. Had a lot of world building and updates/comments with more info as well.

I was pretty surprised how well it worked, the comments split almost evenly between "rehoming is never okay" and "some dogs just aren't kid-safe." A lot of commenters started arguing with eachother even.

https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/137r9qw/aita_for_telling_my_wife_we_have_to_rehome_her/

Cartoons Hate Her's avatar

In hindsight, I regret not doing more posts about dogs because this is such a polarizing topic there. I only did one and it was where a guy discovered that his girlfriend had an Instagram account for her dog, where she posted blue lives matter memes as the dog.

Susan D's avatar

I think I read Drug Chicken in real time, but so much on Reddit is in that vein, maybe I am retrofitting my memory.

All of the above are excellent Reddit fodder, particularly the fact that you honed in on weddings and child rearing. However, what impresses me most is how you got the Reddit cadence and sentence structure down. You gotta start strong over on that platform! Particularly in the AITA forum, it all goes something like this...,

Posted under a throwaway because everyone in my family knows my main. I (FNB22) and my long term boyfriend (M48), and four children (F4, M3, M2, F4 months) are having issues...

You know the commenters have made up their minds before they finish reading the first sentence.

I think that might be key to your Substack success, you know how to grab them in the first sentence.

jeffkahrs's avatar

the number of posts where the age gap....is...welll...gappy or they have been dating fr 3 years, married for 2 and are 20

The Cultural Romantic's avatar

I hate the resilience pussy eating guy and I knew he wasn’t real before I even started reading. How are you doing thissssssa

awesomizer's avatar

The drug chicken is absolutely priceless, and I agree 100% that it would need to be perma-stoned in order to stay true to the bit.

John Smith's avatar

I absolutely love that the first story is about an asshole recasting controlling/abusive behavior as a "boundary."

Cartoons Hate Her's avatar

Many such cases

Christopher Miller's avatar

"(last year I was a baby for Halloween and I stayed in character the whole night- it was so funny.)"

This is extremely funny in hindsight. We're you perhaps projecting with this one?

Axel F's avatar

“You have to have a good asshole”

Had to read that twice …

Morgan Bird's avatar

Online trolling is significantly associated with dark tetrad personality traits. Might be a piece in the puzzle of why people don't want to come to your parties!

Cartoons Hate Her's avatar

Not to defend myself too much here but I’ve seen those studies and their definition of “trolling” is more accurately covered by the online harassment/bullying/slur-saying contingent of trolling, not making up silly stories (which is not to say that it’s a normal thing to do, just not….that)

Morgan Bird's avatar

Fair enough. It still feels kind of fundamentally antisocial though.

Cartoons Hate Her's avatar

No disagreement there

jeffkahrs's avatar

using the term "dark tetrad personality traits" in describing an actual human being is a dark tetrad personality trait. People are not subjects.

Tuur Ruytjens's avatar

why go for just the one or a couple of meagre Hollywood movies?

this is absolutely epic, GoT or LotR franchise surpassing, material. eight+ lavishly funded netflix or amazon seasons appear to be the bare minimum.

Marianne Martinez's avatar

These are incredible, thank you for your service

Elizabeth T's avatar

I do love the Moldovan story. Both the dude being a predatory creep and the folklore elements are just enough to be ridiculous without making it 100% clear that it's fake, and you have a clear underdog to root for in the Moldovan wife and family.

Elizabeth T's avatar

And I just noticed the detail that’s he’s trying to cheat on his wife with the new Moldovan woman! Splendid