My Sexual Preferences are Natural, Your Sexual Preferences are Evil

The red pill says attraction can't be negotiated, but I see a lot of negotiating.

A while ago, I wrote about my foray into the red pill community, both the parts for men and the parts for women (the red pill at its core is for men, so the parts for women always feel kind of disjointed.) You can read the full article if you need the context, but basically, “the red pill” as a theory, encompasses all the inconvenient truths about sex and relationships for men—chief among them the fact that women’s attraction is amoral. In fact, everyone’s attraction is amoral. All those well-meaning adults who told you that a girl would like you because you were nice and respectful were lying. Sure, maybe women like guys who are nice and respectful, and maybe they’ll prioritize those traits for marriage, but more importantly, they are viscerally and sexually attracted to guys who are hot and charismatic, and often guys can be hot, charismatic and not particularly nice, and still do well with women in the short-term. Being nice to women won’t get you laid—going to the gym and improving your social skills (or “game”) will.

One reason there’s no real “red pill for women” is that most women have never been in the dark about the inconvenient truths of men’s attraction. It’s been blasted to us since our American Girl Doll days, if not earlier. We are all fully aware that men like hot women more than anything else, that they are “visual creatures,” and that plenty of men continue to prefer twenty-year-olds no matter how old they get themselves. In fact, when I first stumbled upon the red pill, I remember thinking, uhhh…you guys are JUST FINDING OUT NOW that women like hot and confident men? Okay lol.

But one of the reasons I ultimately departed from the red pill world (and my biggest criticism with the concept today) is that despite the initial claim that sexual attraction is amoral, that nobody can blame men or women for liking whatever they like, and that you can only change yourself instead of whining about changing what society values, a lot of red pill content is…well, literally just whining about women’s sexual preferences. For every content creator who calls themselves “red pill” there are a million tweets, videos or blog posts about how unfair it is for mid or below-average women to be attracted to tall or handsome men. Sometimes, they’re put off by the idea of a woman being attracted to dominance or masculinity at all, or they do a switcheroo and insist that birth control and SSRIs have made women attracted to feminized soyboys (I can’t keep up.) A recent viral Twitter screed ranted about how women couldn’t possibly be trusted to make their own dating decisions because they’d invariably choose dangerous criminals and ripped loser beach bums over mild-mannered accountants.

Only one problem: all of this is moralizing, and maybe even attempting to negotiate, what people find attractive. One of the core beliefs of the red pill (one of the main beliefs I actually agree with) is not only that sexual attraction is amoral, but that you can’t negotiate it. No amount of “modern women are broken” is going to actually change what women like, and it certainly isn’t going to get you laid. And before women start patting themselves on the back for being the reasonable ones, let’s take a look at how women often react to a forty-year-old man dating a woman in her late twenties.

At the end of the day, people fancy their own preferences natural, unchangeable, and not open for debate. But everyone else’s? Depraved.