Many Such Takes: Secretary of War, Killing 1000 People, FBI Informant, and More
The most unhinged discourse of the week, always free
Welcome to Many Such Takes! For those unfamiliar, this is a free weekly segment (I also do lots of other stuff!) For Many Such Takes, I stay up to date with the latest and most chaotic Twitter discourse so you don’t have to.
Secretary of War
I’ve always felt a little weird about the title “secretary” for masculine-coded roles. Don’t you? I mean, you hear “secretary” and you think high heels and pencil skirts. Well, not anymore, you absolute fucking cucks! Because the artist formerly known as Pete Hegseth, “Secretary of Defense,” is now the “Secretary of War.” Based!
Wait—isn’t this confusing? Why do we have a “Department of War” when Trump/Vance was the pro-peace ticket?
You might be puzzled. That’s understandable. After all, during the election we were regaled with memes about how “millennial white women” were going to vote in Kamala as a “warmonger who drafted Gen Z me into WW3.” You might be wondering how any of this makes sense with Trump’s new pro-war slogan. This image probably explains it better than anything else:
Anyway, surprise! Turns out war is cool now.
We also got a showdown between two of the most annoying people on Twitter:
Killing 1000 People
I think most of us with kids (or even just other family members we love) would readily admit their lives mean more to us than the lives of strangers. Every day, thousands of people die unjustly, and for the most part, we continue going on living our lives, but we obviously wouldn’t if (God forbid) even one of those people was a loved one. But have you considered that if you already have an insatiable desire to kill, this could make a really fun thought experiment?
Every time this comes up, someone tries a “gotcha” by asking the person if they would blow 1000 guys to save a family member. But this guy is bisexual, so it didn’t work on him:
Asking the important questions:
It all started to feel a bit like the classic Matt Walsh ape argument:
Personally, I’m not interested in the dick sucking line of questioning. How long does it take to suck a dick—ten minutes max? I’m out here asking the real challenging questions:
Honorary mention to this follower of mine for this reply:
Apparently, there was previous (unknown to me) lore about this guy getting into a fight with a bunch of teenagers:
We got some other takes around the idea of a vaguely-justified desire to murder strangers, along with the observation that many who would “kill” for their families in theory would not do much easier and banal things:
Last but not least, I’m very proud to have created my own meme on the topic:
FBI Informant
In case you’ve forgotten, the “Epstein files” still haven’t been released. A DOJ aide ensnared by a dating app honeypot apparently revealed that the plan was to redact Republicans on the list while leaving Democrats there (how shocking!) What’s actually shocking was that this ploy came from the O’Keefe Media Group, a sketchy far-right organization, not some bleeding heart progressive lib journalist.
So anyway, given that Trump is pretty clearly on the list (as Elon Musk pointed out during his epic now-deleted Twitter thread—about which I did a Trump impression, here) they have a new talking point: yes, he was in the files, because he was a secret FBI informant trying to take Epstein down.
Some people noted that to be an FBI informant, you’re usually caught doing something illegal and becoming an informant is part of a deal you strike. But Trump?? Illegal?! Don’t worry, I can explain:
Funny Tweets/Other Happenings
Eerily, things are beginning to look a lot like The Handmaid’s Tale, in part because of the costumes people are deliberately wearing to create this effect (courtesy of
)
I discovered a new way I’m a bad parent—serving leftovers to my children:
My current favorite Twitter troll (perhaps tied with ratlimit) has a new victim: Elizabeth Holmes.
Also it looks like I’m vindicated about my theory that a great deal of trad content is undercover BDSM (article here)
In case you missed it:
Is This Trad Stuff Just BDSM?
Yesterday, Twitter was graced with a a video of Lori Alexander, otherwise known as The Transformed Wife, or as I like to call her, Godmother of the Tradwives. I’ll give you a quick summary of the video: she describes meeting her husband of 44 years. In her words, she wasn’t physically attracted to him, she didn’t really get along with him, they argued all the time, and when he proposed he didn’t give her a ring or get down on one knee. For some reason she doesn’t quite explain why she had to say yes to this guy (surely, even the most Biblical tradwife would say you don’t have to submit yourself to every single man you meet?) But anyway, she said she felt he had “stolen her joy,” that she didn’t enjoy her wedding or her bridal shower, and that they had a rough patch for…wait for it…
How SSRIs Became the Female Fedora
All day long, I’ve been telling my husband I can’t wait to finally finish the “SSRI fedora” article. I’m pretty sure he hasn’t responded once, because he thinks this is a well-known phenomenon of which he should be aware but isn’t. Thankfully for him, this is just one of those thoughts that keeps popping into my mind when I’m trying to sleep. So I’m going to share it with all of you.
There is a woman in the UK, Bonnie Blue, who had sex with 1,000 men in day. Her exploit now seems more commendable in that no one died.
People who say “I would kill 1000 randos or 1 million apes to save my family” are so silly. When would you ever find yourself in that situation?
Also, it’s embarrassing to jack yourself off about your own (entirely imagined btw) bravery in public. Cultivate humility.