If got into an Uber and the driver was wearing that shirt and he said he owned 33 snakes and wanted to bring women into the desert, I would be worried "well, this is how die."
OK the only thing I would say about the attachment parenting psycho discourse is that if you let these unhinged weirdos impact how you feel about yourself as a mom, you might need to get off Twitter, LOL. The internet might not be a safe space for you.
(That being said... I do shower with my baby 😅😅😅 I know I'll get some judgment, for me it's like knocking out two birds with one stone? Idk.)
You are my hero because once again you made me laugh. A female friend showed me the men who "swiped" for her on a dating app. It's as if the men are doing that Nigerian Prince scam because their profiles are so poorly thought through that they only want women who have no sense of cringe.
The more I read posts from people like Robyn, the more they come across as very narcissistic. Take her excusing a baby crying with you in car vs alone in a crib: the real difference is that Baby is aware of Mom’s holy almighty presence and that makes it ok, even if Baby could be screaming longer and harder in the car seat. It seems to me that *Mom* has a need to be constantly seen by Baby and she projects this into Baby needing *her*.
Helen Roy also wrote an interesting essay on the “Crunchy Mom or Devouring Mom” discourse
Agree with this. That a pov like Robyn exists explans why so any GenZ/Gen Alphas haven't developed resiliency and are having difficulty adulting. Overly attached parenting
If you are a young mom and want to take a 5 minute shower, take a shower. Crib, bouncer, dark room, light room, doesn't matter lol. Take the shower or outside break. If your kid is crying in a car seat, let them cry until you can stop safely. Jeezus
I can’t tell exactly what age of child the shower posts are talking about (and I’m not sure everyone involved is can, which could exacerbate the disagreement) but context clues point to perhaps 0-6 months?
I don’t see how the zealous-mum recommendation is to leave the kid alone *with toys* - at least here it’s drilled into you from birth that toys should never enter a cot/bassinet etc until the kid’s 12mo, major SIDS risk. I don’t feel bad about having my 10mo’s beloved koala and hedgehog in her cot but it’s one of the things I’d think an overzealous Twitter-type mum would be most likely to disapprove of about my approach! Perhaps it’s more of a “no sad babies, which make me sad” zealousness than a “no safety risks ever” zealousness?
I have never really gotten it. Is it a typo? “Eat hot chip” is more of a Britishism (though that exact phrase isn’t one), but the origin is an American black guy iirc? Maybe its staying power is that it’s off-kilter?
I’m fairly sure the “hot chip” in that particular tweet refers to chilli-flavoured packaged chips/crisps and that there’s some level of class/racial connotation
Nah, the Daughter of Wolves post took me out. Like, I do think you should shower quickly if you're alone at home with the baby out of sheer consideration of the baby--however... WTF IS THAT TAKE lmao. (Not Robyn's, I like her.)
I started dating women and queer people at 30, and I was shocked to find that there are many rural-identified queer women who also post photos with dead fish (less so with dead animals). I wonder if they have as hard of time dating as men with fish photos...
And, yes, this is my pet theory about fish photos: people who use them and really center them are staking their claim as "rural-identified", which I was shocked to find out is a measurable identity now used in healthcare and public health. 20% of people who live in distinctly urban areas (not suburbs or exurbs, where the % is higher) define themselves as "rural-identified". Why this is studied in public health and healthcare is because rural-identified people all have the same lifestyle-based health risks as rural-living people, regardless of whether they live in an urban vs. suburban vs exurban vs rural, so it's useful for treating them in healthcare.
Growing up, I was an urban-identified person living in a rural area. Since I graduated from college, I have never lived in a small town or suburb again. I am the ONLY member of my extended family that has this preference, and I've had since I was a little kid going on daytrips to the city.
I am not attracted to fish pictures or truck pictures because I'm not interested in dating someone rural-identified. I hated living in a rural area, and I would rather die than go back to living in what I consider to be a prison of conformity and driving. I actually don't have a problem with sustainable fishing and hunting (as long as I'm not going to be forced to go fishing or be a deer season widow, but no women in my family ever were this, so I know it's possible), so it's not the fish itself. It's the ideas that typically lie beneath the fish picture that I'm not interested in.
And, for the record, same goes for women and queers with fish pictures. Every single queer person I've ever met who was into hunting and fishing also felt intense discomfort with urban living, which is valid, but we're never going to be compatible. Living in a city is the most liberating choice I've ever made for myself, so I will never get along with someone who has to reluctantly live here to escape rural homophobia. This is a common dating issue in Minneapolis, actually, because we draw farm kids and rural queers from more than 1000miles.
I have an implementation question. It is late May; here in the upper Midwest, civil twilight runs from roughly 9pm to 5am. Very few of my showers are in what you could call "the dark".
As a child, I recall fear of the dark as not being able to visually perceive things around me, which makes plenty of sense.
According to Robyn, what is the necessary level of brief shower darkness to terrify your infant? Is "dark" merely leaving the room light off? Do you need blackout curtains or perhaps a windowless concrete bunker?
Pssshhh, clearly, you don’t have proper connection with your inner feminine spirituality like Mother Superior Robyn, otherwise you could figure it out! Start drinking raw milk, and unfiltered spring water and the inner feminine will return!
I wouldn't be interested a guy who posed with a fish, though I have no actual objection to a guy who would take a fishing rod camping and catch supper or go out to the local trout stream after work . But I'd assume Fish Guy would be off fishing a lot of the time. That doesn't sound like something that would enrich my life a lot. On the other hand, a photo of a guy on a hike would be good, because I like having a hiking buddy.
1. The Fish Guy probably swiped so many times, Tinder probably thought he was a bot and changed who it showed him.
2. Most of the Fish Guy's 2000+ matches were also probably bots, so presumably very few of them were even possible to convert to dates.
3. Anecdotally, Tinder is probably a worse place for people with niche interests like fishing, reptiles, or really anything interesting. The best app for that is probably Hinge, given the ability to highlight specific parts of profiles and comment directly on them.
FWIW, I met my SO on Hinge - also a reptile collector (had to rearrange their enclosures and apparently hundreds of $$$s of anime figurines so their bedroom would have space for a bed again). I note they brought a live katana to our first date for "personal protection". I guess the lesson is that courage/bravery can pay off, though maybe you also want to bring a sword with you just in case.
If got into an Uber and the driver was wearing that shirt and he said he owned 33 snakes and wanted to bring women into the desert, I would be worried "well, this is how die."
There is just a huge difference between liking fishing, snakes and sex and thinking that those are the first three things you should say to someone.
Same! And I am a girlie who *likes* snakes!
The spiritual-alignment post is just utter perfection.
Fish photos are inherently unattractive for several reasons:
1. Dead fish are ugly
2. Fishing clothes are ugly
3. Squinting directly at the camera because the sun is very bright is ugly
If men had shirtless photos of themselves casting a line, maybe fishing photos would be fine.
I believe Hayden Christensen is an elder millennial, so at least one Hayden has been of dating age for a while 😂
OK the only thing I would say about the attachment parenting psycho discourse is that if you let these unhinged weirdos impact how you feel about yourself as a mom, you might need to get off Twitter, LOL. The internet might not be a safe space for you.
(That being said... I do shower with my baby 😅😅😅 I know I'll get some judgment, for me it's like knocking out two birds with one stone? Idk.)
Both of my kids need me in the bath so I take about 5 baths a week 😂
I definitely don't shower with my baby. Wet babies are slippery! That's said, more power to you if you've got the grip strength for it.
I have some techniques for applying soap without them slipping out of my hands 😅 that was the only learning curve -- other than that, not too hard.
You are my hero because once again you made me laugh. A female friend showed me the men who "swiped" for her on a dating app. It's as if the men are doing that Nigerian Prince scam because their profiles are so poorly thought through that they only want women who have no sense of cringe.
The more I read posts from people like Robyn, the more they come across as very narcissistic. Take her excusing a baby crying with you in car vs alone in a crib: the real difference is that Baby is aware of Mom’s holy almighty presence and that makes it ok, even if Baby could be screaming longer and harder in the car seat. It seems to me that *Mom* has a need to be constantly seen by Baby and she projects this into Baby needing *her*.
Helen Roy also wrote an interesting essay on the “Crunchy Mom or Devouring Mom” discourse
https://helenroy.substack.com/p/crunchy-mama-or-devouring-mother
Agree with this. That a pov like Robyn exists explans why so any GenZ/Gen Alphas haven't developed resiliency and are having difficulty adulting. Overly attached parenting
If you are a young mom and want to take a 5 minute shower, take a shower. Crib, bouncer, dark room, light room, doesn't matter lol. Take the shower or outside break. If your kid is crying in a car seat, let them cry until you can stop safely. Jeezus
I can’t tell exactly what age of child the shower posts are talking about (and I’m not sure everyone involved is can, which could exacerbate the disagreement) but context clues point to perhaps 0-6 months?
I don’t see how the zealous-mum recommendation is to leave the kid alone *with toys* - at least here it’s drilled into you from birth that toys should never enter a cot/bassinet etc until the kid’s 12mo, major SIDS risk. I don’t feel bad about having my 10mo’s beloved koala and hedgehog in her cot but it’s one of the things I’d think an overzealous Twitter-type mum would be most likely to disapprove of about my approach! Perhaps it’s more of a “no sad babies, which make me sad” zealousness than a “no safety risks ever” zealousness?
Yes. These people think safe sleep recommendations are a conspiracy so we are talking about different groups here
Interesting! Evidently I’ve a lot to learn about the various schools of Twitter mum.
I almost respect the Passportbros post for it's dedication to "eat hot chip and lie" argumentation. Almost.
There's something about the "eat hot chip" cadence that's so funny to me. Like the "pizza house" scene in Mad Men.
I have never really gotten it. Is it a typo? “Eat hot chip” is more of a Britishism (though that exact phrase isn’t one), but the origin is an American black guy iirc? Maybe its staying power is that it’s off-kilter?
It also just sounds to me like something Homer Simpson would yell at his brain before plowing his car into a snack factory.
I’m fairly sure the “hot chip” in that particular tweet refers to chilli-flavoured packaged chips/crisps and that there’s some level of class/racial connotation
The joke about "There's only one step left... the clues" is lifted from Nick Mullen's comedy special, incidentally.
Is it just me or does the girl in the passportbros post look like she might be an actual child? If so, it takes the post to a new level of gross.
I’m leaning no but I went from “hah no way” to “I don’t think so but maybe” so I think you have a point?!?!
If so EWEWEWEWEW
Based on what she's wearing, she's a high-schooler (15-18)
Nah, the Daughter of Wolves post took me out. Like, I do think you should shower quickly if you're alone at home with the baby out of sheer consideration of the baby--however... WTF IS THAT TAKE lmao. (Not Robyn's, I like her.)
Update: I was too tired to tell that she was trolling. Disregard the comment above entirely.
We all fell for it! Lmao
I started dating women and queer people at 30, and I was shocked to find that there are many rural-identified queer women who also post photos with dead fish (less so with dead animals). I wonder if they have as hard of time dating as men with fish photos...
And, yes, this is my pet theory about fish photos: people who use them and really center them are staking their claim as "rural-identified", which I was shocked to find out is a measurable identity now used in healthcare and public health. 20% of people who live in distinctly urban areas (not suburbs or exurbs, where the % is higher) define themselves as "rural-identified". Why this is studied in public health and healthcare is because rural-identified people all have the same lifestyle-based health risks as rural-living people, regardless of whether they live in an urban vs. suburban vs exurban vs rural, so it's useful for treating them in healthcare.
Growing up, I was an urban-identified person living in a rural area. Since I graduated from college, I have never lived in a small town or suburb again. I am the ONLY member of my extended family that has this preference, and I've had since I was a little kid going on daytrips to the city.
I am not attracted to fish pictures or truck pictures because I'm not interested in dating someone rural-identified. I hated living in a rural area, and I would rather die than go back to living in what I consider to be a prison of conformity and driving. I actually don't have a problem with sustainable fishing and hunting (as long as I'm not going to be forced to go fishing or be a deer season widow, but no women in my family ever were this, so I know it's possible), so it's not the fish itself. It's the ideas that typically lie beneath the fish picture that I'm not interested in.
And, for the record, same goes for women and queers with fish pictures. Every single queer person I've ever met who was into hunting and fishing also felt intense discomfort with urban living, which is valid, but we're never going to be compatible. Living in a city is the most liberating choice I've ever made for myself, so I will never get along with someone who has to reluctantly live here to escape rural homophobia. This is a common dating issue in Minneapolis, actually, because we draw farm kids and rural queers from more than 1000miles.
I have an implementation question. It is late May; here in the upper Midwest, civil twilight runs from roughly 9pm to 5am. Very few of my showers are in what you could call "the dark".
As a child, I recall fear of the dark as not being able to visually perceive things around me, which makes plenty of sense.
According to Robyn, what is the necessary level of brief shower darkness to terrify your infant? Is "dark" merely leaving the room light off? Do you need blackout curtains or perhaps a windowless concrete bunker?
Pssshhh, clearly, you don’t have proper connection with your inner feminine spirituality like Mother Superior Robyn, otherwise you could figure it out! Start drinking raw milk, and unfiltered spring water and the inner feminine will return!
I wouldn't be interested a guy who posed with a fish, though I have no actual objection to a guy who would take a fishing rod camping and catch supper or go out to the local trout stream after work . But I'd assume Fish Guy would be off fishing a lot of the time. That doesn't sound like something that would enrich my life a lot. On the other hand, a photo of a guy on a hike would be good, because I like having a hiking buddy.
1. The Fish Guy probably swiped so many times, Tinder probably thought he was a bot and changed who it showed him.
2. Most of the Fish Guy's 2000+ matches were also probably bots, so presumably very few of them were even possible to convert to dates.
3. Anecdotally, Tinder is probably a worse place for people with niche interests like fishing, reptiles, or really anything interesting. The best app for that is probably Hinge, given the ability to highlight specific parts of profiles and comment directly on them.
FWIW, I met my SO on Hinge - also a reptile collector (had to rearrange their enclosures and apparently hundreds of $$$s of anime figurines so their bedroom would have space for a bed again). I note they brought a live katana to our first date for "personal protection". I guess the lesson is that courage/bravery can pay off, though maybe you also want to bring a sword with you just in case.