Many Such Takes: Homestead Heir, Washing Machines, Mark "Gooner" Robinson, Mein Pillow, Hot Nannies, RFK Jr.'s Sexts

The most unhinged discourse of the week, always free

Welcome to Many Such Takes! I stay up to date with the latest and most chaotic Twitter discourse so you don’t have to. If you see yourself featured here and you don’t like it, simply send me a Substack message and I will happily remove, no matter who you are or what you said. For previous issues of Many Such Takes, see this tab on my main page.

Homestead Heir

Do you ever sit around and wonder what Alfalfa from 1994 Little Rascals is up to? Well, wonder no more, because he’s gone full Tradcath, which involves deliberately taking a vow of poverty and living “off the land” with his wife and four daughters. But hey, things are looking up for him: he finally has a son to inherit the camping tent where he’s living in the woods. You know Black Philip hates to see him coming.

This week, he announced the birth of his son (he somehow weaves both the names “Anthanasius” and “Chad” into this kid’s name- wojack ass baby, tbh.) I’m not going to make fun of his kids or his wife, and I’m not going to need to, because Bug Hall is giving me more than enough subject matter.

To start, this was what he said when someone asked him why he didn’t consider his daughters his “heirs:”

This shouldn’t be surprising, as several years ago he posted about teaching his daughters (the oldest of whom at the time was maybe five?) the concept of “marriage debt,” which is the concept that spouses owe sex to each other.

He also made sure to skewer the hospital’s appointed “feminist pediatrician” who spoke to his wife about spacing her kids in a way that would allow for healthy/safe pregnancies:

So you get the point- super fucking weird. There was also an interesting exchange where someone said that the FBI should “check his hard drive” and Mr. Hall retorting with the fact that he apparently “doesn’t have Internet.” Anyway, he continued to post through it, mostly with sexist remarks but occasionally with a gem like the below. I have to give credit where it’s due, this is good posting:

Mein Pillow

In case you missed it, MyPillow is having a discount sale for the suspiciously Aryan price of $14.88!

I really wish I came up with “mein pillow” but I have to credit this Twitter user for coining the term. Other people noted the bizarre price:

And others yet noticed and thought, hell yeah:

Washing Machines

I have never once seen a degrowther tweet that I liked. This week was no exception, with this degrowther take, insisting that washing machines should be done away with and should be replaced instead with joyful, meditative hand washing through communal chats. Also, have you considered that it burns calories?

Immediately, people jumped on this tweet as proposing a “solution” that would make life much more difficult for women, who take on the majority of the laundry. As a mom who did five loads of laundry this weekend alone, I concur.

The best take I could find:

Actually, maybe this:

Mark “Gooner” Robinson

GOP Governor nominee Mark Robinson was outed this week for posting explicit and racist content on old message boards, including the paid subscription sex forum, Nude Africa. He also referred to himself as a Black Nazi, expressed disappointment that he couldn’t join the KKK, praised Hitler and Mein Kampf, and referred to MLK Jr. as “Martin Lucifer Koon.” Personally, I’m far more interested in the sexual content, such as this absolutely vile story about his wife’s sister, inexplicably written in the style of a woman in corporate who doesn’t want to appear aggressive:

Original Source: American Muck

All I can say is I hope the sister-in-law pee sex story is real. I can’t imagine suffering the embarrassment from it, only for it to have been fan fiction all along (although I suppose that provides some plausible deniability!)

The best part of all this is that Mark Robinson used the same username on basically every website, so while we now have a peek into his depravity on the Nude Africa message boards, we also get to see things like his difficulty assembling a model train set:

Best Tweets of the Week

• This old clip of Plum Sykes, Anna Wintour’s famous former assistant, showing off her “edgy” office attire in 1999. Folks remarked on how her outfit was “giving TJ Maxx” only to show they had missed the entire point of this iconic Devil Wears Prada scene.

• This neckbeard-ass TikTok video about being a sociopath

• This deleted tweet (let him cook!)

  

  Also, don’t miss the Timothee Chalamet lookalike contest on October 27!

  

Many Such Takes: Deep Dives of the Week