"Just Avoid Eye Contact" Isn't Enough
Erratic people on subways sometimes *do* assault or kill strangers. And avoiding eye contact won't help.
When my daughter was a little over a year old, we were walking down the street in broad daylight (she was strapped to my chest and facing outward) when we heard a man about twenty feet away shout “I’M GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU!”
Although we were the only other people on that street, the guy hadn’t seen us yet, so this threat likely wasn’t directed at us. He was likely completely untethered from reality, screaming at some imagined apparition. But it seemed reasonable to want to get away from him. And luckily, because we were walking down the street, we could go in a different direction. Don’t get me wrong—my heart was racing. I was terrified we would run into him again and I wound up walking about five blocks outside of my route. I’m still not happy we had to experience this, but at least we had an easy safe option to escape.
But if we had been on a subway, we would have had no easy choice. We could have waited for the train to stop and then switched cars—but what if he saw us leave and took that as a message, prompting the threat to move from “vaguely directed at my delusions” to “at the next person who triggers me?” What if we couldn’t get to the door in time? What if he followed us? What if he escalated before the train stopped?
We could have stayed, too. I’ve been told many times that people who are uncomfortable with this type of behavior need to just stay put, don’t make noise, and “avoid eye contact.” After all, asking someone to turn down their music could get you stabbed. You just need to keep your head down and you’ll be fine. That’s apparently all it takes, right? Except for Iryna Zarutska, who quietly sat down in front of a visibly deranged, pacing man on the bus, only to be stabbed to death shortly after. Or the young woman in the Chicago subway who was randomly lit on fire by a severely mentally ill subway rider? Or Michelle Go, the woman who was pushed in front of a subway to her death in New York City by a total stranger?
None of these women provoked the men who killed them. But avoiding eye contact didn’t help. People’s (especially women’s and parents’) discomfort with erratically-behaving people on public transit isn’t just about being Karens and wimps who can’t tolerate visible poverty. It’s about the fact that a guy shouting “I’m going to fucking kill you” might actually mean it.
