I Was Targeted on an Anonymous Gossip App

I'm probably biased, but here's why I think apps like Tea shouldn't exist

I had written this article earlier this week, before Tea was hacked and the personal information of all 70,000 female users—including their names, verification selfies and locations—were leaked. Obviously, just a horrible situation for everyone involved. But it doesn’t change my reasoning for being against the app in the first place—it reinforces it.

---

Thanks to my trusty social media algorithm, I recently discovered Tea, an anonymous app for women to rate and discuss men they’re dating (along with those men’s real photos) and the latest thing to besmirch the name of my favorite drink.

Tea is referred to as promoting “dating safety,” so your first thought might be that women could warn each other about literal predators, but like previous similar apps (or similar Facebook groups like Are We Dating the Same Guy?) it’s likely used to police obnoxious-but-legal behavior, like being flaky or general fuckboyistry. Advocates for the app (and ads for the app) even admit that some of the “dangerous” behavior about which women can warn each other include things like “lovebombing” or ghosting—which undermines the importance of Tea, but also undermines the degree of damage it would cause to a man’s dating life (would a woman really refuse to date a guy just because he had, at one point, canceled on a date with someone else?) Moreover, the men who seem the most worried are the ones who probably have the least to worry about (their biggest fault is being too shy or awkward, not womanizing.)

Tea is currently #1 in the app store in the Lifestyle category (at least at the time of writing this article.) Unsurprisingly, its success has driven men to suggest they create a “body count app” so they can warn other men about promiscuous women. (I imagine many of the responses would be, “Please tell me where these promiscuous women are so I can avoid them—direct coordinates preferred!”)

But no matter who the target is—men, women, or anyone else—apps and sites like this just shouldn’t exist. I don’t feel that way because I have an affinity for defending men or women, and my logic has nothing to do with dating or romantic relationships at all. I feel this way because of the precedent it sets around surveillance, consent and privacy. And why do I feel this way? Because many years ago, I was targeted by an app like this.