"– hey, any of my family members who are somehow CHH subscribers, stop reading here –" Would love to discover today that any of them really is a CHH reader
When I first starting going to the gym, 25 years ago, all of the women were on cardio machines or in classes - and all of the men were in the weights area.
it's been fun to see it all integrate. Women with barbells, men doing yoga, etc. Plus, I like this modern 'fit woman' who is not skinny-skinny, but rather has solid hams and glutes to go with a tight waist.
More American women are lifting than ever before, it rocks! When I started going to a gym to lift like 12 years ago, I was also one of the only women. I followed this book called Thinner Leaner Stronger to learn how to lift, and I think the author's influence in that space had a lot to do with getting women in the gym.
Yeah, I remember when I first starting going to the gym, it was absolutely a thing for there to be no women lifting. And also absolutely a thing to believe any weight lifting would somehow make a 100 lbs pound woman into Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson.
It also worked other way around. Definitely met guys 20-25 years ago who didn't do any cardio because somehow it would really damaging to your "gains". Its like unless you're training to do a marathon, the loss in muscle mass by doing cardio is going to be nothing compared to the "gains" you're getting from benching 250 lbs. Also, unless you're hoping to enter a body building competition, why are you that worried about losing a smidge of your "gains"? I'm really glad that mindset has abated a ton and a lot more men who lift are aware that a good cardio routine should absolutely be part of your workout routine.
nothing makes me feel hotter than lifting! it is hands-down the most empowering thing. doesn’t hurt to swagger around the weights section a little too 😂 I also think there’s some libido/mood benefits from eating enough to fuel your lifts, instead of always trying to diet down to the tiniest possible size.
Glad you brought up the eating thing, because I definitely noticed how much lifting encourages better eating. As you note, you actually need "fuel" to lift, so you really can't do the "crash diet" thing of only eating a celery stick and one piece of whole grain toast. Actually encourages you to eat a healthy diet in a way that's actually sustainable as opposed one that a) is insanely unhealthy for you in ways way beyond losing weight b) utterly unsustainable long term.
But also works the other way too. I definitely think I eat less "bad" foods for breakfast or for lunch when I know I'm working out later. Three slices of pizza for lunch and there's just no way I'm going to be able to do any reasonable lifting routine or cardio.
totally agree with all of this! when I’m really consistently lifting, I’m way more conscious (in a good way) about what will fuel my body and my workouts. it’s a virtuous circle!
I know this post was written to be directed towards women, but honestly a lot of it could apply to men as well.
I've mentioned before on here, but I've been exercising consistently 5-6 days a week for 23 years now. Mixture of lifting and cardio. But the precipitating reason why I started exercising wasn't anything physical, but rather I suffered through a pretty sever bout of depression my sophomore year in college. Had to leave school for a semester and go to therapy. And thankfully my therapist didn't just put on drugs, but instead recommended I start going to the gym*. I'd say that recommendation alone paid for the therapist bills.
I've noted all the benefits beyond just being in better shape before and a lot them Mikala covers here; sense of accomplishment, a healthy way to destress, genuine lessening of depression. On that last point, to bring it back to the main part of this post, depression is absolutely a killer on libido for both women and men.
So yeah, can't "like" this post enough. Also, to buttress Mikala's point, I know my ability to exercise 5-6 days a weeks is a bit of a "privilege". I'm in a "white collar" job with consistent hours and there is a literal gym in my office (meaning I can go on my lunch break if I really want to). But even if you're a bit more limited in your ability to go the gym than I am, can't endorse heartily enough that it's worth it for you to go when you can for all the reasons Mikala lays out.
* I'm very pro people going to therapy more who need it (although as CCH has mentioned there is a cohort out there predominantly of women who maybe need a little less in their lives. Speaking as a guy, think I'm on solid ground in saying the people who need it more are disproportionately men). Also very aware there are people who probably "need" drugs in order to help deal with a very real issue causing severe deperession. But I think I'm on solid ground in saying that circa 2001-2002, drugs like Prozac were way way over prescribed.
I've always loved lifting weights, but as I got more and more into mountain biking my strength training took a sideline and became something I only did in the off-season.
However, during perimenopause I suddenly noticed I couldn't put out the power on the bike that I used to. Every ride felt like I was riding through quicksand. I've always been proud of the fact that I was the only woman in my riding group and was able to keep up with the guys - but suddenly I couldn't. That made me not want to ride any more, and not riding made me feel really depressed.
I figured maybe I should start focusing on lifting since clearly I sucked at mountain biking now. After a month or so, I noticed a HUGE improvement in my mental state. Not only was I not depressed, but my anxiety and ADHD seemed a lot less intense as well.
Then I hopped back on my mountain bike and shocked myself at how good I felt. My legs had power in them again, I could punch up steep rockfaces again, and riding was fun again.
Now I lift consistently all year round. During riding season I lift 2x per week, focusing mainly on the compound lifts (squat, bench, deadlift, overhead press) with the goal of maintaining muscle mass; and during the off-season I lift 4x per week and do a lot more volume.
I feel better, I sleep better, I recover better, my clothes fit better, and I'm more interested in sexy time. Lifting weights is seriously the best thing you can do for your health, especially when you are over 50.
As I mentioned in my post, everything you noted in your last statement I think applies even when you're 20 and at your supposed peak physically.
It's sort of a shame to me that exercise became associated almost solely with losing weight. Which absolutely can be a by product of exercising more but is also sort of one of the "worst" reasons to go the gym. I know tons of research has come out showing that exercise alone is very likely not going to lead to significant weight loss absent changes to diet. But I do worry it had the effect of maybe discouraging people from going to the gym generally.
Also, why I'm glad to see women weight lifting has become more of a thing. As in, there is this very healthy way to look better that maybe doesn't involve losing a ton of weight, but is also very healthy for you.
All three of my young adult daughters lift weights. My youngest suffered from an eating disorder when she was a young teen, but now at 20 she is a dedicated gymgoer and is very proud that she gained 10 lbs. in the past year (she’s been intentionally bulking and has really built up her upper body impressively). My eldest is on the autism spectrum and has anxiety disorder, but lifting weights helps her feel more integrated with her body and redirects some of that nervous energy away from ruminating and fretting. My middle daughter has ADHD and just needs an outlet for her restless nature.
I have always told them that your teens and young adult years are when your body is at its most anabolic and you will build muscle more easily than when you are old - and that the muscle you build in your youth is yours to keep. I’m really thankful that my husband got me into lifting back when I was young; even when I became detrained at various times, the muscle was still there and would come back quickly when I started lifting again.
I know a lot of women my age (I’m 57) who never lifted because they “didn’t want to get bulky,” and who are now struggling to improve their body composition and bone density. It’s a lot harder to build muscle post-menopause, so I’m glad that I already had a decent base.
Glad to read that "lifting" has been so beneficial to your kids. It really really does make a difference to mental health.
On the last point, one of the reasons I started doing a lot more leg work with my lifting is being conscious of getting older (I'm 42 now). And I'm aware that as I get older, balance and leg issues generally can become an issue. So build up that muscle now to hopefully forestall issues later (or at least lessen by issues).
It’s also a perfect exercise for those of us with adhd. Only about 10-20 seconds of focus, max, and I can listen to podcasts / 90s rap on repeat between sets?? LFG!
When I signed up for a powerlifting meet and learned that my training was basically just "approach weight, attempt to lift, sit down for a long time recovering, do that again like 3 times, go home and eat a shitload of food" ... it was a good day
100%! Also, I don’t think people realize just how jacked you can get with two, 60-90 min sessions a week.
A 2 day split squat/bench and press/deadlift with some pull ups & push ups between sets will get you swole and is doable at even the bleakest holiday inn! 💪🏽💪🏽💪🏽
Here's how clueless I am about working out: the first time I heard of a "leg day" was from the hockey players on Letterkenny, and I totally assumed that the whole idea was just some shit they had made up - if you've ever watched the show, you know that half of what the 2 hockey players say is in this goofy semi-made-up insider lingo and I was like "of course Jonesy and Reilly would be doing a 'Leg Day' at the gym, haha they so silly!"
I was in Vegas last week, two guys sat next to me at a bar. Turned out they were college hockey players that got stranded during the weather travel snarls. They talked more or less exactly like Reilly and Jonesy. It was excellent.
This was an excellent guest post and there's a lot here, but if I may just completely miss the point for a moment and say: I was slouching as I read it, and then I got to the part about engaging your lats and I tried it and holy fuck, it works! I lift so I know how to do it, but it just never occurred to me to do it in order to fix a slouch. I'd just, you know, push my shoulders back, with the little spine muscles that hurt all the time. But *down*, with nice big muscles that don't scrunch when you engage them? So much better. Also helped my breathing. So thanks for that!
I still remember when I was getting licensed to teach spin class and the teacher told us that we should never use the word “muscle” around women at the gym because it “scares them away.” We needed to say “toning” or “sculpting”, and only refer to a handful of individual muscle or muscle groups (“core” or “glutes” were okay but “quads” or “biceps” made women feel “bulky”).
That made me feel so sad! Women should embrace feeling strong and functional. I exercise daily because it feels good and because I want to avoid injuring my back like my mom did. I want to be able to help carry her to bed if she needs caretaking; I want to be able to carry groceries and kids and pet carriers and hiking supplies, and I need muscle for that.
(FWIW I use the word “muscle” frequently during class.)
"– hey, any of my family members who are somehow CHH subscribers, stop reading here –" Would love to discover today that any of them really is a CHH reader
When I first starting going to the gym, 25 years ago, all of the women were on cardio machines or in classes - and all of the men were in the weights area.
it's been fun to see it all integrate. Women with barbells, men doing yoga, etc. Plus, I like this modern 'fit woman' who is not skinny-skinny, but rather has solid hams and glutes to go with a tight waist.
More American women are lifting than ever before, it rocks! When I started going to a gym to lift like 12 years ago, I was also one of the only women. I followed this book called Thinner Leaner Stronger to learn how to lift, and I think the author's influence in that space had a lot to do with getting women in the gym.
Nice! I'm looking to my right, at my bookshelf, and my copy of that same author's "Bigger Leaner Stronger"
Yeah, I remember when I first starting going to the gym, it was absolutely a thing for there to be no women lifting. And also absolutely a thing to believe any weight lifting would somehow make a 100 lbs pound woman into Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson.
It also worked other way around. Definitely met guys 20-25 years ago who didn't do any cardio because somehow it would really damaging to your "gains". Its like unless you're training to do a marathon, the loss in muscle mass by doing cardio is going to be nothing compared to the "gains" you're getting from benching 250 lbs. Also, unless you're hoping to enter a body building competition, why are you that worried about losing a smidge of your "gains"? I'm really glad that mindset has abated a ton and a lot more men who lift are aware that a good cardio routine should absolutely be part of your workout routine.
It was so funny to see women who thought they'd get Rambo arms from doing push ups. Glad that thought is gone
nothing makes me feel hotter than lifting! it is hands-down the most empowering thing. doesn’t hurt to swagger around the weights section a little too 😂 I also think there’s some libido/mood benefits from eating enough to fuel your lifts, instead of always trying to diet down to the tiniest possible size.
10000000% on the eating, too. So much of undoing my binge eating disorder was learning how to eat enough all day long because I was lifting
yes!! this really healed my relationship with food too!
Glad you brought up the eating thing, because I definitely noticed how much lifting encourages better eating. As you note, you actually need "fuel" to lift, so you really can't do the "crash diet" thing of only eating a celery stick and one piece of whole grain toast. Actually encourages you to eat a healthy diet in a way that's actually sustainable as opposed one that a) is insanely unhealthy for you in ways way beyond losing weight b) utterly unsustainable long term.
But also works the other way too. I definitely think I eat less "bad" foods for breakfast or for lunch when I know I'm working out later. Three slices of pizza for lunch and there's just no way I'm going to be able to do any reasonable lifting routine or cardio.
totally agree with all of this! when I’m really consistently lifting, I’m way more conscious (in a good way) about what will fuel my body and my workouts. it’s a virtuous circle!
I know this post was written to be directed towards women, but honestly a lot of it could apply to men as well.
I've mentioned before on here, but I've been exercising consistently 5-6 days a week for 23 years now. Mixture of lifting and cardio. But the precipitating reason why I started exercising wasn't anything physical, but rather I suffered through a pretty sever bout of depression my sophomore year in college. Had to leave school for a semester and go to therapy. And thankfully my therapist didn't just put on drugs, but instead recommended I start going to the gym*. I'd say that recommendation alone paid for the therapist bills.
I've noted all the benefits beyond just being in better shape before and a lot them Mikala covers here; sense of accomplishment, a healthy way to destress, genuine lessening of depression. On that last point, to bring it back to the main part of this post, depression is absolutely a killer on libido for both women and men.
So yeah, can't "like" this post enough. Also, to buttress Mikala's point, I know my ability to exercise 5-6 days a weeks is a bit of a "privilege". I'm in a "white collar" job with consistent hours and there is a literal gym in my office (meaning I can go on my lunch break if I really want to). But even if you're a bit more limited in your ability to go the gym than I am, can't endorse heartily enough that it's worth it for you to go when you can for all the reasons Mikala lays out.
Thank you for this! I wrote a post for another newsletter about exercise + depression; you're right on the money there, so maybe you'll want to read it: https://mentalhellth.xyz/p/exercise-is-an-antidepressant-why
Thank you and will absolutely read your post when I can (my work computer blocks your website. No idea why).
* I'm very pro people going to therapy more who need it (although as CCH has mentioned there is a cohort out there predominantly of women who maybe need a little less in their lives. Speaking as a guy, think I'm on solid ground in saying the people who need it more are disproportionately men). Also very aware there are people who probably "need" drugs in order to help deal with a very real issue causing severe deperession. But I think I'm on solid ground in saying that circa 2001-2002, drugs like Prozac were way way over prescribed.
I'm a cardio queen and feel the same way. The level of accomplishment I have when I can do a 40 miler on my Bianchi. My thighs look hot and I feel hot
Hell yeah. I was an indoor cycling instructor for six years, it's such a good workout
Note that you still need strength training to protect your bone density.
I lifted my way out of my mid-twenties mental health crisis and I fully endorse this message.
SAME and that's why I started all my work about all this!
The Sad Girl to Muscle Mommy pipeline is real!
I saw the title and thought this was going to be a post from Mr. CHH
It's definitely something he would say
I love that my POV could have me easily confused for CHH's husband
Unclear if that is a compliment or not lol. But I did really enjoy your piece
I’m coming in hot on this substack next week
Clearing my schedule now
You mean I would be even hornier if I lifted weights?! Whoa, thanks for the warning!
I've always loved lifting weights, but as I got more and more into mountain biking my strength training took a sideline and became something I only did in the off-season.
However, during perimenopause I suddenly noticed I couldn't put out the power on the bike that I used to. Every ride felt like I was riding through quicksand. I've always been proud of the fact that I was the only woman in my riding group and was able to keep up with the guys - but suddenly I couldn't. That made me not want to ride any more, and not riding made me feel really depressed.
I figured maybe I should start focusing on lifting since clearly I sucked at mountain biking now. After a month or so, I noticed a HUGE improvement in my mental state. Not only was I not depressed, but my anxiety and ADHD seemed a lot less intense as well.
Then I hopped back on my mountain bike and shocked myself at how good I felt. My legs had power in them again, I could punch up steep rockfaces again, and riding was fun again.
Now I lift consistently all year round. During riding season I lift 2x per week, focusing mainly on the compound lifts (squat, bench, deadlift, overhead press) with the goal of maintaining muscle mass; and during the off-season I lift 4x per week and do a lot more volume.
I feel better, I sleep better, I recover better, my clothes fit better, and I'm more interested in sexy time. Lifting weights is seriously the best thing you can do for your health, especially when you are over 50.
yessss Esme I love so much to hear all of this!
As I mentioned in my post, everything you noted in your last statement I think applies even when you're 20 and at your supposed peak physically.
It's sort of a shame to me that exercise became associated almost solely with losing weight. Which absolutely can be a by product of exercising more but is also sort of one of the "worst" reasons to go the gym. I know tons of research has come out showing that exercise alone is very likely not going to lead to significant weight loss absent changes to diet. But I do worry it had the effect of maybe discouraging people from going to the gym generally.
Also, why I'm glad to see women weight lifting has become more of a thing. As in, there is this very healthy way to look better that maybe doesn't involve losing a ton of weight, but is also very healthy for you.
All three of my young adult daughters lift weights. My youngest suffered from an eating disorder when she was a young teen, but now at 20 she is a dedicated gymgoer and is very proud that she gained 10 lbs. in the past year (she’s been intentionally bulking and has really built up her upper body impressively). My eldest is on the autism spectrum and has anxiety disorder, but lifting weights helps her feel more integrated with her body and redirects some of that nervous energy away from ruminating and fretting. My middle daughter has ADHD and just needs an outlet for her restless nature.
I have always told them that your teens and young adult years are when your body is at its most anabolic and you will build muscle more easily than when you are old - and that the muscle you build in your youth is yours to keep. I’m really thankful that my husband got me into lifting back when I was young; even when I became detrained at various times, the muscle was still there and would come back quickly when I started lifting again.
I know a lot of women my age (I’m 57) who never lifted because they “didn’t want to get bulky,” and who are now struggling to improve their body composition and bone density. It’s a lot harder to build muscle post-menopause, so I’m glad that I already had a decent base.
Glad to read that "lifting" has been so beneficial to your kids. It really really does make a difference to mental health.
On the last point, one of the reasons I started doing a lot more leg work with my lifting is being conscious of getting older (I'm 42 now). And I'm aware that as I get older, balance and leg issues generally can become an issue. So build up that muscle now to hopefully forestall issues later (or at least lessen by issues).
It’s also a perfect exercise for those of us with adhd. Only about 10-20 seconds of focus, max, and I can listen to podcasts / 90s rap on repeat between sets?? LFG!
When I signed up for a powerlifting meet and learned that my training was basically just "approach weight, attempt to lift, sit down for a long time recovering, do that again like 3 times, go home and eat a shitload of food" ... it was a good day
100%! Also, I don’t think people realize just how jacked you can get with two, 60-90 min sessions a week.
A 2 day split squat/bench and press/deadlift with some pull ups & push ups between sets will get you swole and is doable at even the bleakest holiday inn! 💪🏽💪🏽💪🏽
Here's how clueless I am about working out: the first time I heard of a "leg day" was from the hockey players on Letterkenny, and I totally assumed that the whole idea was just some shit they had made up - if you've ever watched the show, you know that half of what the 2 hockey players say is in this goofy semi-made-up insider lingo and I was like "of course Jonesy and Reilly would be doing a 'Leg Day' at the gym, haha they so silly!"
Sounds like you need a Leg Day Bae!
I was in Vegas last week, two guys sat next to me at a bar. Turned out they were college hockey players that got stranded during the weather travel snarls. They talked more or less exactly like Reilly and Jonesy. It was excellent.
I will always be an unabashed Pilates girlie.
oohhh i wonder about your thoughts on one of my posts .... https://bodytype.substack.com/p/the-long-con-of-pilates-culture
I agree there are sociopolitical issues with it that aren’t the best. I also haven’t been in as much control of my body as I have since starting it.
It’s a good complement to weights.
Pilates is great. But you need strength training to protect bone density
It’s true. I wish I could get lifts in during my commute.
(Obv still strength train but the 40+ minutes in traffic each way kills me on inside)
Two hearts for this one. That was great.
thx!
This was an excellent guest post and there's a lot here, but if I may just completely miss the point for a moment and say: I was slouching as I read it, and then I got to the part about engaging your lats and I tried it and holy fuck, it works! I lift so I know how to do it, but it just never occurred to me to do it in order to fix a slouch. I'd just, you know, push my shoulders back, with the little spine muscles that hurt all the time. But *down*, with nice big muscles that don't scrunch when you engage them? So much better. Also helped my breathing. So thanks for that!
TRULY delighted to be of service here 💪🏼
I still remember when I was getting licensed to teach spin class and the teacher told us that we should never use the word “muscle” around women at the gym because it “scares them away.” We needed to say “toning” or “sculpting”, and only refer to a handful of individual muscle or muscle groups (“core” or “glutes” were okay but “quads” or “biceps” made women feel “bulky”).
That made me feel so sad! Women should embrace feeling strong and functional. I exercise daily because it feels good and because I want to avoid injuring my back like my mom did. I want to be able to help carry her to bed if she needs caretaking; I want to be able to carry groceries and kids and pet carriers and hiking supplies, and I need muscle for that.
(FWIW I use the word “muscle” frequently during class.)
omg, absolute insanity!!! & I was a licensed spin teacher too :)
It was a great gig for years! I eventually transitioned to teaching dance and kickboxing.
Yeah, it was one of those required fitness certification classes that 80% of the time is just a useless money-making scheme.
I could not be happier about this crossover between the two of you oh my