Honest to god truth, just this morning I stood at my vanity and had this thought: "There is an astonishing amount of maintenance required just to not look like a bog witch."
Granted, I am a woman of a certain age, and that adds to the work, but I've never been someone who is head to toe "done". However, I do maintain a routine to look like a relatively pulled-together human, and that takes time and mental energy that many people won't invest. And like CHH, I say godspeed to those folks. I also say, you aren't going to look like a off duty model if you aren't one, just enjoy your own self.
When I was in Paris a few years ago I became obsessed with how your average shlubby Parisian guy vaulted several meters on the style gauge simply by interestingly knotting a scarf around his neck. Then I stepped into the Metro and found a vendor selling three scarves for 6E. It was my fashion moment! I bought masculine patterns in black, blue, and a subtle floral, studied up on ways to knot them, and strode forth with new confidence on the streets of Pah-ree. And with a nice warm neck. I continued to rock the look upon my return to Fort Collins, Colorado, which is not an influencer Mecca. No one has looked askance, but who cares? Le scarf c’est moi! It became mine, practically and aesthetically. And every time people commented—and they did, a lot—I’d tell them the acquisition story. Maybe I’m the northern Colorado influencer of Metro Chic?
I know I’m not the intended audience for articles like this one, and I should probably shut up (fat chance!). But this is giving “did I catch you not feeling sufficiently inadequate about your looks? I trust that you will correct this forthwith…yes?”
Losing weight makes women look more chic! Currently on this journey. As I approach 40 I either have to become way better dressed ($$$) or option 2 lose 20lbs and dress a little better. That’s the facts.
Some of the scenarios you mentioned are kind of like if you told me that you don’t wanna enroll for a random class in your community college because you’re worried you might come out of there with a PhD.
Random question: What retinol do you use? I don't think mine does anything. Or maybe the point is that it just keeps the inevitable decaying of my face from accelerating. Aging seems to be a fight not to look better but to stop looking worse.
I use prescription tretinoin! I think it's made my skin a bit smoother, but I can't tell yet if it's done anything for anti-aging, because that's more of a long term thing. I was also using it in my 20s before I got pregnant, so it may have helped, but I have no identical twin to compare myself to!
Dumb question: how does one get a prescription for a cosmetic medicine? Do you need your PCP to tell you at your annual physical, "I'm diagnosing you with haggard face syndrome, so some prescription-strength face medicine should be covered by your insurance."?
Not a dumb question. It can be used as an acne treatment too, but I talked to my dermatologist during my annual skin check and said "what do I do about these wrinkles" and she said "would you like some tretinoin"
Chloe Malle is the daughter of Candice Bergen and Louis Malle and is the nepo-est of nepo babies, which most of us are not. What you point out needs repeating: most of us are not models or daughters of former models. Perfectly carrying off the “I’m soooo casual I wear hardly any makeup and dress way down” requires not only the bone structure, but the immersion in the fashion and entertainment world from teenagerhood or even childhood. As Chloe Malle has. Like long-trained and well-practiced ballet dancers, they make it look effortless, which, like ballet dancing, it most certainly is not.
The real question inquiring husbands want answered is: how long does it take CHH to get ready to leave the house? It takes my wife a long time which I sometimes approximate to be “forever”
This one made me laugh, I’m old enough now that I’ve stopped buying the hoodie sweatshirt that looks great on the influencer when I realize on me, I will just look like a mom in a hoodie sweatshirt, lol. I have small children, so my efforts at my appearance have taken a hit, but one of my goals for 2026 is to get dressed every day, and get back to doing a little makeup every day.
Perhaps you’ve already written on this topic, but I would be interested in reading an exhaustive article on the non-dating benefits people receive from bettering their appearance.
As an average-looking (or worse) guy, I don’t perceive myself in public, don’t notice others perceiving me, and certainly don’t post pictures online with the intent of having people say “Damn, he’s getting after it”. But given this, I also realize I have nothing to lose.
Take retinol and other anti-aging products. Let’s say they do prevent aging and make you look a little less young. Now what?
In terms of GLP1s I've heard many anecdotal stories that men and women who have lost say 50lbs suddenly see their careers accelerate. In my world BMI was and is inversely correlated with one's level on the org chart. The rank and file tended to be heavy and the executives are almost exclusively thin and fit.
I see a real difference between being 50 pounds overweight and looking one's age. I think it's hard to be healthy and energetic when you are carrying that much extra weight around (though I've seen some people do it), and I see how it might not inspire folks with confidence. But the non-fitness beauty stuff is of limited utility to many of us.
I just met with my financial advisor who got on GLP-1’s and has great hair now. Especially in his profession I could see a correlation where people think attractive folks are more trustworthy or something. Maybe if I want to get into management I should too, haha.
My guess is that most of us don't receive any concrete benefits, unless we are in a field where success depends upon looks. Some people just seem to think that being perceived as cool or good-looking and receiving compliments is an end in itself. I can't relate to that.
Yeah, and maybe it’s because I’ve never received the feedback of being good looking or cool, so I’m not holding onto to anything or losing anything.
The career thing is interesting though and something I’ve thought about. Even in the corporate world…would my prospects change if I got lengthening surgery, a hair transplant, and started ozempic? Maybe?
And, is that the most effective use of your time and money in terms of improving your specific prospects? I think it makes more sense to ask, where to I want to be, what do I want to be doing, and what is holding me back? Am I in the wrong company, the wrong part of the country, or doing the wrong job? For most people, their looks are not the primary factor holding them back from living the kind of life they want to.
Thrilled to get to read the whole thing now! Thank you!
I do very little. Undone nails, uncolored gray hair. Lots of plain black dresses. I wear makeup only if I’m going somewhere because I’m a writer who hangs out at home — I did wear makeup daily when I worked in offices.
I will say this: I always kept all my clothes forever but then in the past year I’ve had to replace almost every single piece of clothing I own — after years of buying almost no new clothes for years at a time and I need to write about that. Yes, GLP-1s strike again.
Starting from scratch has shown me a bit of what my “style” is and it’s different from what I thought. Not sure “style” is the right word for a woman who eschews fashion.
I just bought a sweater dress that is GREEN even though it was also available in black. Not sure that’s ever happened before!
I don't wear nail polish or mascara Nail polish is unsanitary (I was trained as an esthetician and we weren't allowed to have long nails or nail polish). I don't need mascara daily because I have long, dark lashes, it irritates my eyes, cleaning it off irritates my eyes, and if I curl my lashes it looks like I'm wearing mascara. But, this doesn't mean I don't put work into my look. I exercise everyday, eat healthy, do skincare, and put a lot of effort into maintaining my looks through my health, fitness, and personal care. I work in film, and am a trained dancer, and people think I'm over a decade younger than I am.
CHH makes another article free. I wonder what it is.... "You all look like shit"
Honest to god truth, just this morning I stood at my vanity and had this thought: "There is an astonishing amount of maintenance required just to not look like a bog witch."
Granted, I am a woman of a certain age, and that adds to the work, but I've never been someone who is head to toe "done". However, I do maintain a routine to look like a relatively pulled-together human, and that takes time and mental energy that many people won't invest. And like CHH, I say godspeed to those folks. I also say, you aren't going to look like a off duty model if you aren't one, just enjoy your own self.
I'm constantly disappointed in the morning that my evening routine the night prior has not restored my face to my 20s.
I laughed at the term “bog witch.” Going that route might help keep kids off your lawn though!
When I was in Paris a few years ago I became obsessed with how your average shlubby Parisian guy vaulted several meters on the style gauge simply by interestingly knotting a scarf around his neck. Then I stepped into the Metro and found a vendor selling three scarves for 6E. It was my fashion moment! I bought masculine patterns in black, blue, and a subtle floral, studied up on ways to knot them, and strode forth with new confidence on the streets of Pah-ree. And with a nice warm neck. I continued to rock the look upon my return to Fort Collins, Colorado, which is not an influencer Mecca. No one has looked askance, but who cares? Le scarf c’est moi! It became mine, practically and aesthetically. And every time people commented—and they did, a lot—I’d tell them the acquisition story. Maybe I’m the northern Colorado influencer of Metro Chic?
This delights me.
I know I’m not the intended audience for articles like this one, and I should probably shut up (fat chance!). But this is giving “did I catch you not feeling sufficiently inadequate about your looks? I trust that you will correct this forthwith…yes?”
Losing weight makes women look more chic! Currently on this journey. As I approach 40 I either have to become way better dressed ($$$) or option 2 lose 20lbs and dress a little better. That’s the facts.
Some of the scenarios you mentioned are kind of like if you told me that you don’t wanna enroll for a random class in your community college because you’re worried you might come out of there with a PhD.
Yes lmao
Random question: What retinol do you use? I don't think mine does anything. Or maybe the point is that it just keeps the inevitable decaying of my face from accelerating. Aging seems to be a fight not to look better but to stop looking worse.
I use prescription tretinoin! I think it's made my skin a bit smoother, but I can't tell yet if it's done anything for anti-aging, because that's more of a long term thing. I was also using it in my 20s before I got pregnant, so it may have helped, but I have no identical twin to compare myself to!
My prescription tret is $20/month/ just get that.
Dumb question: how does one get a prescription for a cosmetic medicine? Do you need your PCP to tell you at your annual physical, "I'm diagnosing you with haggard face syndrome, so some prescription-strength face medicine should be covered by your insurance."?
Not a dumb question. It can be used as an acne treatment too, but I talked to my dermatologist during my annual skin check and said "what do I do about these wrinkles" and she said "would you like some tretinoin"
Your PCP can prescribe it. Just tell them that you want to remove acne scars/and or age spots.
Is MST on pause because CHH is off twitter?? If so, congrats to her!
Yes! I still post my articles but honestly I can’t take it anymore
Chloe Malle is the daughter of Candice Bergen and Louis Malle and is the nepo-est of nepo babies, which most of us are not. What you point out needs repeating: most of us are not models or daughters of former models. Perfectly carrying off the “I’m soooo casual I wear hardly any makeup and dress way down” requires not only the bone structure, but the immersion in the fashion and entertainment world from teenagerhood or even childhood. As Chloe Malle has. Like long-trained and well-practiced ballet dancers, they make it look effortless, which, like ballet dancing, it most certainly is not.
The real question inquiring husbands want answered is: how long does it take CHH to get ready to leave the house? It takes my wife a long time which I sometimes approximate to be “forever”
This one made me laugh, I’m old enough now that I’ve stopped buying the hoodie sweatshirt that looks great on the influencer when I realize on me, I will just look like a mom in a hoodie sweatshirt, lol. I have small children, so my efforts at my appearance have taken a hit, but one of my goals for 2026 is to get dressed every day, and get back to doing a little makeup every day.
Perhaps you’ve already written on this topic, but I would be interested in reading an exhaustive article on the non-dating benefits people receive from bettering their appearance.
As an average-looking (or worse) guy, I don’t perceive myself in public, don’t notice others perceiving me, and certainly don’t post pictures online with the intent of having people say “Damn, he’s getting after it”. But given this, I also realize I have nothing to lose.
Take retinol and other anti-aging products. Let’s say they do prevent aging and make you look a little less young. Now what?
In terms of GLP1s I've heard many anecdotal stories that men and women who have lost say 50lbs suddenly see their careers accelerate. In my world BMI was and is inversely correlated with one's level on the org chart. The rank and file tended to be heavy and the executives are almost exclusively thin and fit.
I see a real difference between being 50 pounds overweight and looking one's age. I think it's hard to be healthy and energetic when you are carrying that much extra weight around (though I've seen some people do it), and I see how it might not inspire folks with confidence. But the non-fitness beauty stuff is of limited utility to many of us.
I just met with my financial advisor who got on GLP-1’s and has great hair now. Especially in his profession I could see a correlation where people think attractive folks are more trustworthy or something. Maybe if I want to get into management I should too, haha.
My guess is that most of us don't receive any concrete benefits, unless we are in a field where success depends upon looks. Some people just seem to think that being perceived as cool or good-looking and receiving compliments is an end in itself. I can't relate to that.
Yeah, and maybe it’s because I’ve never received the feedback of being good looking or cool, so I’m not holding onto to anything or losing anything.
The career thing is interesting though and something I’ve thought about. Even in the corporate world…would my prospects change if I got lengthening surgery, a hair transplant, and started ozempic? Maybe?
And, is that the most effective use of your time and money in terms of improving your specific prospects? I think it makes more sense to ask, where to I want to be, what do I want to be doing, and what is holding me back? Am I in the wrong company, the wrong part of the country, or doing the wrong job? For most people, their looks are not the primary factor holding them back from living the kind of life they want to.
Thrilled to get to read the whole thing now! Thank you!
I do very little. Undone nails, uncolored gray hair. Lots of plain black dresses. I wear makeup only if I’m going somewhere because I’m a writer who hangs out at home — I did wear makeup daily when I worked in offices.
I will say this: I always kept all my clothes forever but then in the past year I’ve had to replace almost every single piece of clothing I own — after years of buying almost no new clothes for years at a time and I need to write about that. Yes, GLP-1s strike again.
Starting from scratch has shown me a bit of what my “style” is and it’s different from what I thought. Not sure “style” is the right word for a woman who eschews fashion.
I just bought a sweater dress that is GREEN even though it was also available in black. Not sure that’s ever happened before!
I don't wear nail polish or mascara Nail polish is unsanitary (I was trained as an esthetician and we weren't allowed to have long nails or nail polish). I don't need mascara daily because I have long, dark lashes, it irritates my eyes, cleaning it off irritates my eyes, and if I curl my lashes it looks like I'm wearing mascara. But, this doesn't mean I don't put work into my look. I exercise everyday, eat healthy, do skincare, and put a lot of effort into maintaining my looks through my health, fitness, and personal care. I work in film, and am a trained dancer, and people think I'm over a decade younger than I am.