Can You Be "Trad" Without Hating Women?

What do we want to RETVRN to, exactly?

For a long time, I’ve struggled with a big question as I write articles about family and relationships: in a world where both single men and women can thrive on their own, and there is no religious or societal taboo against that, who is marriage for?

Among both women and men, you’ll find disagreements. The 2010-esque manosphere (ie: red pillers or pickup artists) will say that marriage isn’t worth it for men, and that it only benefits women, but in a bit of a mopey way—you see, they would have loved to marry a nice girl and settle down at 23, but them feminism happened and forced them to be degenerates. They would maybe be open to gracing women with their last names, but only if there were zero consequences for being unfaithful or abusive, and they weren’t expected to spend any time together. On the flip side, other parts of the manosphere—the more traditional (or “trad”) side, include men who believe that many men would love to get married and have six children, but modern women aren’t interested because they’re too busy girlbossing, listening to Taylor Swift, and doing lesbianism.

Of course, what both of these camps have in common is hating women (many such cases) but even the trad men aren’t a monolith. This label encompasses:

• Complete grifters and fictional content creators, who may or may not even be men at all (such as the notorious “breastmilk ice cream” account who I believe was outed as a woman doing performance art.)

• Dad Trads: Men with “traditional” beliefs about marriage, but in a more chivalrous way—perhaps they don’t want women working outside the house, but they pride themselves in being the provider and “man of the house” while still having a deep level of respect for their wives, or at least they purport to. They see being a faithful husband and father with lots of kids to be the ultimate goal—they idolize Mitt Romney, not Andrew Tate. As you might hear them quip after posting a proud photo of their wife slaughtering a goat while their nine children look on, “This is the way.”

• 4Chan Trads: Men who don’t actually like women that much, but instead of taking the incel or pickup artist route, they’ve taken the bitter and aggrieved trad route, fantasizing about an AI-generated ideal of a tradwife with massive jugs and children with seven fingers. While they might convert to Catholicism or the Orthodox Church, this ideology is mostly fueled by various grievances—the government, women, Jews (if the libs have it our way, all of those things will be in the White House next year. It’s literally so over actually.)

The last group is especially interesting because if you had to find this group’s natural enemy, it’s actually not liberal feminists. Most liberal feminists never have the pleasure of interacting with these people. Instead, they are reviled by Christian women, who might consider themselves “trad,” who want an honorable Christian husband (see Dad Trads) but are instead inundated with nominally “Christian” groypers who claim to want marriage but in a way that clearly only benefits them. These men explicitly use religion (which again, I’m not sure they actually believe) as a vehicle for controlling women.

But a lot of people—especially the aforementioned liberal feminists—would say that the 4chan Trads are just being more honest about the ultimate goals of the trad “movement” (if you could call it a movement.) They believe Dad Trads have the same priorities—subjugating women—but have slapped a happy, pastoral Instagram filter on their misogyny. After all, they may say things that seem kind, like declaring that nothing in life is as important as raising children (compared to “girlboss email jobs”) but unsurprisingly, they still consider their own jobs pretty important. Their defense is that women are more nurturing and better equipped for childcare, not that women are inherently inferior (I guess that also makes me wonder- do these guys only seem sexist because on some level, many people view being a mother as inherently inferior to having a career?) But there are contradictions to their arguments: they talk about how important it is to be a present father, yet also claim they’d gladly work four separate jobs to keep their wives at home. The Dad Trads might argue they are playing to their own strengths while their wives are doing the same. Others might say they’re still not buying it; if you don’t think women belong in the workplace, and you think women are best off as homemakers, you just hate women, full stop.

I think we need to look at why we ever had enforced monogamy in the first place. My belief is that enforced monogamy, or societal rules that more or less force people to get married (especially women) are an attempt to create a functioning society in a world where men and women have fundamental differences that sometimes put our mating strategies at odds (yes, I know I sound like a red piller—a stopped clock is right twice a day—but bear with me!) Speaking generally, the following things are true on average (yes, I’m aware they might not apply to you personally!)

1. Men are hornier than women, and sex is less risky for them.