Are We Sunsetting Ass and Entering a Golden Age of Boobs?

Hot women with big boobs finally see themselves represented

If you’re on Twitter, you’ve probably seen Sydney Sweeney at end of SNL far too many times. You’d think in 2024, with hot Instagram models, absurdly curvy AI influencers and wall-to-wall hentai, a pretty (but real-looking) actress with big (but not absurdly big) boobs wouldn’t really stand out. But here we are.

Putting on my “male sexuality” hat, I kind of get it. I mean, of course I get why Sydney Sweeney would be considered attractive—she is attractive. But I get why men are acting like they just discovered the concept of boobs. The fact that Syndey Sweeney is not an AI big tiddy army girl with 200,000 hapless boomers proposing marriage in her mentions is what makes her so appealing. No, she’s not “mid” or anything like that, but she’s beautiful in the way that celebrities were beautiful prior to the advent of Instagram Face or the onslaught of “Pussy in Bio” porn bots. You could easily imagine Syndey Sweeney as a ‘90s or even ‘70s starlet. There’s no obvious surgical procedures. She exists in the flesh, outside of filters and AI. It’s a bit refreshing.

At this point you might be saying “Come on, CHH, it’s not like being a real human actress is illegal now. What about Jennifer Lawrence? Taylor Swift? Margot Robbie?” Of course, all of those women are beautiful and talented, but—and I can’t really explain this—it feels like they are here for the girls. Maybe that’s why I like them. Sydney feels like she’s here for the guys, and in a way that feels completely unironic. I don’t mean to say that “hot blondes have gone woke” or anything, but lately I have noticed that popular actresses are expected to couch their hotness and femininity in a blanket of irony—going on Jimmy Fallon and talking about how much you love donuts, theatrically falling over on the red carpet, posing in a magazine eating pizza out of a greasy box, claiming to not know what “who are you wearing” means and instead sarcastically replying “Uh…a dress?” Sydney Sweeney doesn’t seem like the type to do that stuff. I think for a lot of people, mostly men, that’s appealing.

But let’s put Syndey aside for a moment. Does she represent something bigger—perhaps the sunsetting of ass in favor of boobs? We have undeniably been in an Ass Era since the late 2000s, perhaps even earlier. I’m aware that men who like ass have always liked ass, but this actually isn’t about men’s sexuality. This is about the vibe of the era. And for a long time, we have been in an Ass Era. Are we now in the Boobs Era?

Tentatively, I want to say: yes. Here’s why.

Most importantly, pendulums swing. Celebrities are reversing their BBLs. It was new and exciting to see Kim Kardashian in 2009, when we were on the tail of the 2000s, which was a Skinny Era and Boob Era. Women were no longer afraid to get “bulky” in the gym, in fact we intended on it as long as it was confined to our glutes. Everyone wanted a big ass, including girls who were terrified of having a big ass just five years earlier.

At one point, fitness influencers like Jen Selter made waves by being thin with curvy butts. Although she obviously benefited from genetics, people like her and 2009-era Kim Kardashian made big butts seem at least somewhat attainable and aspirational. But then the influencer community caught on, and seeing butts 200x the size of Jen’s, surrounded by suspiciously wavy pavement lines, because the new normal. It got a little tiring. The infamous photoshopped “Fashion Nova” body was everywhere, and suddenly it no longer seemed remotely attainable or even that cool.

I also noticed the return of the 2000s Skinny era in the past few years. The type of female body inspo that makes its way to my feeds (and keep in mind I don’t intentionally follow any of this stuff) features fewer and fewer thicc squat baddies in Gymshark, and more and more lithe, waifish coquettes in bow-adorned vintage Depop stockings. I’m not making a value judgment here, however—it’s easy to say that slender figures are inherently less attainable, but assuming we’re not talking about ED content, being a size 2 is no less attainable than having a size 2 waist and a size 12 ass with no cellulite. The ideal body will always be unattainable, that’s why it’s the ideal, and it’s best not to take it too seriously (and it goes without saying that teen girls should ideally not be exposed to any of this). Anyway, the same goes for the Boob Era. We will see women who are genetically blessed with big boobs and an otherwise slender frame all over social media. The girls who previously humblebragged by saying they were “finally represented” in the form of Kim Kardashian will be replaced by other insufferable women who will insist that as hot blondes with big boobs, they never saw themselves represented until now. Grifters will claim their progesterone-infused tea can give you bigger boobs without gaining anything on your waist or hips. We may return to “I must increase my bust” exercises a la Are You There God? It’s Me Margaret. Influencers will stop Facetuning their butts as much and start Facetuning their boobs and ribcages. Rinse and repeat. People will say, as they’ve been saying for decades, that body types shouldn’t go in and out of style. But that won’t stop it.

Of course, I’m biased toward ass for a few reasons: it’s my strength (at least compared to boobs- mine are pretty small) and while I don’t think a big ass and small waist is attainable for many people, it’s more attainable than natural big boobs with a small waist, which you can really only get from being born that way. So on a personal level, I’m not exactly cheering this on. But there’s no benefit to denying that it’s happening.

I’m also interested to see how this affects fashion. The rise of athleisure and high-waisted jeans was directly related to the Ass Era. The trending waif figure has given us things like low-rise cargo pants and delicate camisoles that don’t really look good with bras (not a fan.) So what will the Boob Era bring us? I suspect we are seeing the beginnings. of Boob Fashion with the Office Siren aesthetic. We can expect to see form-fitting stretchy pencil dresses (think House of CB), ribbed sweaters, bandage-inspired silhouettes, cardigans, 2010s/1960s Mad Men inspired looks, and fit-and-flare dresses. Unapologetic femininity. Maybe even the return of pumps over platform sneakers. One cool thing about these looks that they might flatter big boobs, but you don’t need big boobs to look cute in them.

As we step into the rebirth of the Boob Era, it’s important to remember that, like any trendy body type, this is about fashion and vibes, not men. Men didn’t suddenly discover boobs, even though they’re acting like they did. Boob guys still liked boobs in 2015, and butt guys will still like butts in 2025. “Wokeism” didn’t take away or give us big boobs. And women who are not skinny, who have neither massive boobs or massive butts—the majority of women—will still get married to people who find them sexy.

Just ride the wave and try not to take it too seriously. And don’t drink any Boob Tea you found on TikTok.