This is so real, thank you for sharing. It's so odd and upsetting how sometimes people just... aren't what they seemed? At all? I never really understand it.
There is something about the entitlement of certain people - yes, boys - that still upsets me to this day. I've lost more solid relationships over so much less, it turns out you CAN treat people like crap and for whatever reason, that's more attractive than treating them like they're a peer. Call me whatever, but I'll never get over it. I bet you Zach and Randy still aren't much better to their partners today.
Man, I had pretty much this exact same thing happen to me when I was 15. I met a 16 year old boy on World of Warcraft and it was all the same stuff: the flirtation, the lurid questions with his friends (unknowingly) present, the awkward real life meetup at a mall, & the rejection via a third party who told me the boy said I "looked good from the front but not from the side" and had cellulite. (He was no looker himself! Recall we met via World of Warcraft!). I look him up every so often and as of today, 16 years later, he appears to be a furry.
What a well-told and honest reminiscence! I'm a guy, and wasn't one of the popular guys as a teenager. I'm older and grew up in the 60s and early 70s before most girls felt comfortable asking a guy out. I grew up before electronic texting existed, but I had some similarly awkward first face-to-face meetings after initial phone calls or letters, as well as some pretty good ones. It was a time before any guy I knew would've had the nerve to try to convince a girl to agree to any specific sex act before their second date, especially if they had already decided not to ask her out on a third one. I grew up in Tennessee but went to college with people mostly from New York, New Jersey, or Pennsylvania, and I was often embarrassed and sometimes shocked by the directness with which those fellows talked to girls and surprised that the girls just rolled their eyes and continued the conversation instead of slapping them and walking away. I can't help but wonder in what region you went to high school.
In your case the guy behaved like an adolescent jerk. So did I sometimes, which was disappointing but not astonishing given that I was an actual shallow adolescent. I was socially awkward and experienced dating as kind of the social equivalent of the bump car rides at the county fair, crashing abruptly into various girls for brief periods and then careening away. At the time I had no idea how to politely but gently tell a girl I didn't want to go out with her again, and I think most girls didn't know how to handle the corresponding situation on their end either. I handled it just by not calling and asking for another date. In retrospect I deeply regret that rudeness and insensitivity and wish I had learned at least better manners not to mention some empathy. Hopefully your short-term beau later came to regret his callous youthful behavior too. It sounds like you handled it pretty philosophically, which I suppose is about the best of the possible outcomes.
Reading this brought me right back to around 1999-2003: the braces, the daily grooming and shampooing, the carefully-chosen outfits, the awkwardness. The planning for dates over IM. You and Rachel seem like people I would have been friends with.
I had totally forgotten about the fact that my male friends (“friends”) would do the same thing you write about here: all crowd around a computer and mess with girls — I only found out that it was a group project after the fact. Actually, one of my “friends” made a fake screen name posing as me and IMed lewd stuff to classmates of ours. Others left anonymous awful comments on my blog — a true sign of things to come in the next decades!
Being a young woman at the turn of the 21st century was a trip. But I’m glad you had your friend to turn to!
“I would feel around for hooves” is like a perfect line that would come from the mouth of a young Liz Lemon.
hahahahahaha
This is so real, thank you for sharing. It's so odd and upsetting how sometimes people just... aren't what they seemed? At all? I never really understand it.
I’m not crying you’re crying 😭😭😭
There is something about the entitlement of certain people - yes, boys - that still upsets me to this day. I've lost more solid relationships over so much less, it turns out you CAN treat people like crap and for whatever reason, that's more attractive than treating them like they're a peer. Call me whatever, but I'll never get over it. I bet you Zach and Randy still aren't much better to their partners today.
Man, I had pretty much this exact same thing happen to me when I was 15. I met a 16 year old boy on World of Warcraft and it was all the same stuff: the flirtation, the lurid questions with his friends (unknowingly) present, the awkward real life meetup at a mall, & the rejection via a third party who told me the boy said I "looked good from the front but not from the side" and had cellulite. (He was no looker himself! Recall we met via World of Warcraft!). I look him up every so often and as of today, 16 years later, he appears to be a furry.
What a well-told and honest reminiscence! I'm a guy, and wasn't one of the popular guys as a teenager. I'm older and grew up in the 60s and early 70s before most girls felt comfortable asking a guy out. I grew up before electronic texting existed, but I had some similarly awkward first face-to-face meetings after initial phone calls or letters, as well as some pretty good ones. It was a time before any guy I knew would've had the nerve to try to convince a girl to agree to any specific sex act before their second date, especially if they had already decided not to ask her out on a third one. I grew up in Tennessee but went to college with people mostly from New York, New Jersey, or Pennsylvania, and I was often embarrassed and sometimes shocked by the directness with which those fellows talked to girls and surprised that the girls just rolled their eyes and continued the conversation instead of slapping them and walking away. I can't help but wonder in what region you went to high school.
In your case the guy behaved like an adolescent jerk. So did I sometimes, which was disappointing but not astonishing given that I was an actual shallow adolescent. I was socially awkward and experienced dating as kind of the social equivalent of the bump car rides at the county fair, crashing abruptly into various girls for brief periods and then careening away. At the time I had no idea how to politely but gently tell a girl I didn't want to go out with her again, and I think most girls didn't know how to handle the corresponding situation on their end either. I handled it just by not calling and asking for another date. In retrospect I deeply regret that rudeness and insensitivity and wish I had learned at least better manners not to mention some empathy. Hopefully your short-term beau later came to regret his callous youthful behavior too. It sounds like you handled it pretty philosophically, which I suppose is about the best of the possible outcomes.
Man I did some socially embarrassing shit around that age but nothing like this guy. I wonder if he thinks about this.
Reading this brought me right back to around 1999-2003: the braces, the daily grooming and shampooing, the carefully-chosen outfits, the awkwardness. The planning for dates over IM. You and Rachel seem like people I would have been friends with.
I had totally forgotten about the fact that my male friends (“friends”) would do the same thing you write about here: all crowd around a computer and mess with girls — I only found out that it was a group project after the fact. Actually, one of my “friends” made a fake screen name posing as me and IMed lewd stuff to classmates of ours. Others left anonymous awful comments on my blog — a true sign of things to come in the next decades!
Being a young woman at the turn of the 21st century was a trip. But I’m glad you had your friend to turn to!
kids shouldnt have access to the internet